Hah I spent so many hours in that house. “Telepathy” the whole time. I went back over there for dinner today, I now see I could have never gotten this far in recovery if I had stayed there.
When I first arrived my grandma and mom were talking. Conditions for instant relapse/flashback. Spike in symptoms.
Old people have this refined character. Both of them are very much the “made for this world” type.
As my mind tries to find a place for myself amongst them it just breaks down into odd continuous judgementalism. It had been a while since I experienced that.
The “made for this world” type folks. They just seem so telepathic after my experiences.
So yeah it still wasn’t as bad as it used to be, but if I were to have continued to live there I would have never gotten a break.
I will continue to widdle away at all the errant features and tendencies of my mind. 90% of them were brought on after psychosis, but while I’m at it I might as well go all the way.
Hate the feeling of condescension and being singled out. I hope its 100% irrational, but at the same time it feels like they are doing this ■■■■ intentionally.
I hate this psychosis. It’s inevitable that I’m going to have these same thoughts again later on. I managed to put it all out of my mind for a long time.