I just feel there is no point to my existence.
All my family is indifferent. Apparently I’m just too much hard work to have a relationship with. If I’m not your servant, running around doing favours and errands for you, or giving you unconditional emotional support & validation (which I provide but never get in return which makes me mad) then I don’t exist.
My friends are the same. Who wants to be friends with, not only a sz who is disconnected from reality but, a borderline personality disorder who apparently is such a pain in the arse emotionally that you can only dump problems on her but never give any support back?
I’m at a loss. I read this article recently by a borderline sufferer, “H.O”, who’s managed to become a qualified psychologist. She’s defend the borderlines’ plight to the rest of the psychologists’ world. She said for us, our expectations are enormous & can never be met by a society that is largely indifferent & if not is hostile.
Whoa. Indifferent, hostile? WOW. Really?
Any more sz borderlines out there that can validate me?
With respect to those that have lived thu life-threatening illnesses, she said she’d rather have terminal illness than borderline because at least with a terminal illness your emotions are validated & your emotional needs are met because people believe & value your emotions.
Against all odds I have 2 good, casual jobs. I don’t got no shifts for 4 days. I believe my siblings are indifferent to me in current day and to the past abuse (even tho they witnessed it in real time and I spent all my pocket money on lollies trying make them feel ok at the time). So who can I turn to for validation?
I’m just a useless basket case taking up space. I look after my cat well but apart from that I serve no purpose.