Tortured feeling

Does anyone else feel like schizophrenia is torture? I wake up feeling anxious almost every morning. And somewhat dizzy. It’s a really bad way to start the day. I just feel this agonizing pain in having schizophrenia. It sucks. And I’m sick of it. Is there any hope for the future?

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I’m kind of the same. It takes me a while to boot up. I hate the mornings.

I did. Now I’m in love with it. For me, it’s a tool I can use to better myself. I’m stronger now than I ever have been, and I truly love the person I am. Psychosis helped me get here. I never want to go back.

Nice to see you back @fractaled I hope you are keeping well?


I’m doing extremely well, thank you. Hope you are too :cowboy_hat_face:

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I have my moments, but not so bad after all. Cheers!

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Me too.

While I like the direction my personality has taken since before I went through psychosis, some things were better before it, and I wonder what my life would have been like without it. But fortunately, I’m not given to chronic and obsessive ruminations.



I got better after 3-4 years. Found a good med, delusions went away, no more paranoia, voices stayed but stopped insults/commands. This is as good as it’s going to get for me. Yeah it sucks still having voices, but I’m basically a lot like a car that has successfully been repaired yet still makes strange noises while driving it.

How long have you had sz/sza? Have you found a good antipsychotic yet? Some will give you side effects but some others not so much, it’s just a matter of trying them until you find one that works for you. Also gotta tinker with dosage to manage side effects.

I’ve had it for 5 years but only have been medicated for a little over a year now. I’ve tried risperdol and Invega only. My doctor swears by the invega injection so he doesn’t want me to switch. I have some side effects but not as bad as when I started. The worst is never feeling like doing anything.

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Invega gave me horrible akathisia, made me pace around the house for hours. I just couldn’t sit still.

I had to try 4 or 5 meds before I found Zyprexa, which works without too much problems. I went through Seroquel, Invega, Latuda, and I think Geodon…

It’s good news that you haven’t had it long. Most of the recovery happens in first 5-10 years with the illness from what I’ve read. I’ve had it 7 years, haven’t been delusional or hospitalized in the last 3 years.

When I had it early on I was terrified of having to be hospitalized for life, but my fears were unfounded. Don’t give up hope!

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If it’s ok can ask what age you were diagnosed?

26 or 27 I think.

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Do you have symptoms all throughout the day?

SZ had it’s torturous moments for me such as when it caused insomnia, or when my thoughts were intrusive and unending. However, I can’t completely discount the whole experience, after all when I was psychotic I was usually drinking and smoking weed, strippers and other fun stuff. So that wasn’t torture. My daily work life has torturous aspects too, but ultimately I choose stability over being psychotic.

Yeah sz can be a big punch in the stomach, so to speak. but I try to keep a good attitude, and to never give up.

Negative symptoms. I don’t really get positive symptoms unless I drink. Which I am trying not to do.

I got sza diagnosis in 2003 and three years later I recovered. But in six years time it came back (in ninth year) and it’s now been eighteen years with sza and more and more meds and it seems it’s for life now. But I’m still ok with it. It can feel like torture when the evil voices speak but I get my good days too and the meds seem to work well :+1:

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Sorry to hear that Earthchild. I never considered mine could come back but I guess it could. I try to avoid stress, if it does happen it will be while I’m attempting school/work.

I’m glad you’re back on the forums, you’ve always got good input!

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Yes. Today i feel tortured by my chronic sadness.

If you suffer from anxiety, there is still hope for you. Anxiety is easier to treat than sadness/depression

I suffer from depression too. I thought I was OK to go off my antidepressant but it’s been a week now and I’m thinking suicidal thoughts. So back on it for me! Yay!