I have almost exactly 6 friends. I am feeling stressed by them. They call me almost every evening. They seem to have a lot of needs, and their main needs are for anti-depression support.
I have to learn the next lesson in life about friends. I think it’s about boundaries.
A friend is not the same as a family member or a lover.
You can choose your friends but not your family.
Friendships are a two way street
Boundaries are a good thing. You can still be there for them even if it’s not everyday. You need to take care of your mental health as well. This happened to me too.
Your sanity comes first imo
Are you going to talk to them about this?
I’ve found when I’d been in groups or psych hospitals I’d give way too much of my own energy helping others and neglecting myself…maybe cuz was easier. But yeah I’m isolated more now. Self preservation. that has to be so hard hard! Yeah boundaries are good. So focus on positives like you just made me realize I haven’t treated myself to something in awhile. I think I’ll see if I can get my hair cut tmr.
When nearly all of your friends were depressed and needed support from you , this is a very stressful situation. Tell them you can’t meet so much demand. They should turn to their family members for support.
Ummm some people have no family
So true. There are people with sz who have so many different needs, and one of them is emotional support. It is so tragic when they don’t have any surviving family left.
It’s one of those sad tragedies in life that is hard to understand in this world.
I will try to be a little more helpful. My friends are really not as dependent as I implied in this post.
I was blaming them for my mild depression.
Encouraging boundaries and knowing when you’re giving too much of yourself will be helpful. Are they reciprocating the support? Are you asking for help from them in return?
To me there is no such thing as too many friends, only too few.
People are different but to my mind, the more friends you have the better.
I have none.
What I tell people I know is that you start with one friend. You don’t need a goal of several friends. One good friend is worth a great deal.
would like one good friend or many, I imagine going out for coffee, lunch, going shopping together
There is some reciprocity. I have about 6 or 7 friends and they are all different, but I don’t see them now as using me. One sometimes tells me how lonely he is and I don’t really like to hear this because it’s like I am his only support. One is a little pushy and I must use boundaries with him, and I think I do so.
I know I have sort-of flip flopped on this thread and I apologize.
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