I woke up at eleven am, all late, and I am still half sick, didn’t want to go to work. I tried to call in with my supervisor, but he convinced me just to try it and see how long I could last.
I feel demotivated in my work, lately. It’s uncomfortable to me now to be such a “life line to normalcy” for non-neurotypicals. I have to model good communication in a happy manner. It is exhausting putting on such exaggerated facial expressions for three four hours at a time, but it’s what they need, according to behavioral analysis. It doesn’t help that I have resting flat affect face and making expressions is a chore to me that demands focus and stuff.
Then, there’s dealing with their lack of motivation, too. Sometimes they’re all excited about working, sometimes not. It can be sad for me, trying to get them to come out of their shell and they just get more frustrated.
I don’t feel well and I don’t feel putting on my hyper alert, emotionally energetic self is going to be easy.