Schizophrenia.com

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day

So let me just tell you all how glad I am we’re all alive.

:heart:

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Man, lots of nights spent in the bathtub with a bottle of pills. When I get better I’m gonna help people that are suicidal. First step is not being suicidal myself.

And I’m glad you’re alive too Minnii. :sunglasses:

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i have DNA in this world

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I hope you get over that, as I am getting over my own issues :heart:

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Been there…done that…got the T-Shirt…etc.

I’ve come to the realization that I’m just too damn brilliant to take my own life.

lol!

But it’s TRUE! As true to me as it is to ALL of you!!

:wink:

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Indeed we are a special bunch :smile:

Yeah man …folding ?when you have the deck stacked? …

Isn’t bad judgment, its just NOT RIGHT.

If you are right here right NOW then you have a stacked deck, don’t piss that away.

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What does that mean? You have a whole life in front of you. A little while ago you were talking about that beautiful feeling you get from life, that matters a lot

I was too delusional growing up to be suicidal. Then clarity brought suicidal thinking. The thought still lingers sometimes but not much of an issue

I kind of understand what you mean, but most professionals / people that have been suicidal say that its the opposite. Clarity brings freedom from being suicidal.

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Yeah, for me it was the oposite. The delusions and hallucinations made me suicidal. Clarity and sanity gave me the love for life again.

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Maybe in the long term it brings a desire to live but there was an interim period I was just clear enough to see that life wasn’t worth living. Before that I was too far gone in la la land, fantasy world, too grandiose to even think about death.

Ok i got you, yeah when i was really delusional i didn’t want to die. i wanted to see my delusions come true lol.

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@Minnii DNA is important because it makes us unique, one of a kind…i like knowing i’m one of a kind

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Ah that’s cool :smile: I was trying to understand but was way off. Glad you feel that way

Ya I always thought I was just missing a girlfriend in my life. I hooked up with a girl did everything but sex and she told me I was “perfect” and fed my ego negatively a lot. So I always thought I was sooo close to solving my problems of having a gf. So I had reason to live. Then when no girlfriend came after a couple years and mental illness progressed I became depressed and suicidal. But I was gaining clarity during this time even though my mental illness got worse. It got better in some ways. I was more lucid. Then I hired an escort and lost my virginity and stopped worrying so much about girls. And revelations about life made me even more lucid which helped with the suicide. Still the thought lingers. But I’m not gonna do it.

im going pub now to celebrate

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About three months ago I was in the hospital for a suicide plan. I thought that I had lost everything - my mind, my friends, the girl I wanted, my future career etc. I was absolutely miserable. I don’t think I laughed for about 6 months.

Somethings happened since then, i dont know what, but i can somehow think more clearly, probably thanks to my therapist. Right now I’m not focused on girls or my career, I’m just concerned with thinking lucidly and making sense to myself. Which includes being lucid when I write.

Btw, do you live in NYC? I don’t live there but I’ve always wanted to visit.

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I’m at work now which is ten minutes from the Bronx. Ya we all have our own unique stories. It was hearing an owl in the woods one night that changed my clarity. Even when I thought I was “almost Jesus” I said "hey I’m so close might as well kill myself now. Today I think I can be a musician again. I wanna make an album when I’m 28 called “the 28 club”. Maybe one of the songs will be called “almost Jesus”. I like it.

I like it to man,maybe make song about us here in sz land?

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