Because I was writing a birthday message to my friend who now lives abroad. I was writing all the good times we shared together when we were younger, (around the late teens and the early n mid twenties) they were really good times for me. We did fun things that were silly. I see her as my only close friend. Even though now we don’t really message.
If she was here now I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it like we used to cos of severe depression etc. That made me cry.
Because I don’t think I will ever feel that kind of silly joy, and childlike, carefree happiness again.
Maybe something, yes but not like before cos of relapse risk etc.
I guess never say never… But right now that’s just how I feel.
Friends like that are forever. You can pick up where you left off, as if the years have never passed. It’s good your still in contact and have great memories.
@anon90843118
The brain is a complex plastic organ. When you continue to take your medication to prevent relapse. Then your brain will get used to it at a given moment. When your brain is used to it, there are feelings of joy again. Do not give up the must. You have plenty of time to think about what you want to do with your life. Nostalgia can turn into melancholy.
You are your new self … respect yourself and your life course. I do too. You did not expect an unexpectedly chronic progressive disease. You could not have prevented it either.
And if you take a large dose of antipsychotics you do not have to be afraid of psychosis. The fatigue then increases rather than psychotic symptoms.
I also lost a lot of friends because of my psychosis. But I must say that I was never really a social person who easily makes friends. And yes it is painful to see how other relationships enter into and marry. working full-time and stuff. But it does not discourage me. Because everyone lives their life on their own level. peaceee
So happy you have someone so special in your life butterflyy. I remember watching a school of life episode that said we’re all living in our own little bubble and it’s rare to find people that would go out of their way to cheer us on. It definitely put everything in perspective.
I have been blessed to be able to live with one of my closest best friends and her 2 kids who keep me on my toes. I do however miss the memories that I’ve had with my Grandmother, the one and only that I felt closest to. She was my best friend too, along with my grandfather. I’m so thankful for memories, only cause they don’t come close for me and the medications that I am on, I have so much memory loss it’s not even funny. I wish I had better memories than the ones I have.
It takes me to write it down to her to remember just how much I appreciate her. It’s true, its rare to find gems like that. I will probs message her more frequently now. even if it’s just quotes or something small.
That sounds so nice. You will be creating good memories continuously then. Do you write your own reflections? I will be starting to do that as a way to attempt to keep more memories intact.