Today and my med

i cant feel anymore i think. i am scared it will be forever like this… i think my sz friend is not ok, she is not so nice and tactic to me. ok,i am a hater now, i lack kindness but me too i need love and understanding. and probably it wont come from this friend…
is it normal to feel desensibilized in the begining of the treatment? does our Ap’s are a brain wash? i feel dumb intellectually also right now.
i take testimonys here, it sucks to be desensibilized, probably it will stay like this :(…

i talked to my pdoc. she couldnt reassure me quite well… she said that i can remain a bit desensibilized forever… voila

I confirm that changes in our thinking and feeling can be indeed scary… But I also noticed the momentum, our moods tend to balance itself which means if we were on low moods for many days then we would be on better moods for the coming days, and vice versa. So I firmly believe our moods have ability for self-healing.

yes plumber but i became really stupid. i cant think now… how can i live like this in the future? somebody who is thinking that this is temporary? just a month that i am on zyprexa though :/…

I don’t feel also. I would drink to feel sometihing, especailly happiness. But being one year and 4 months and 6 days sober and on the right meds. I have hope for one day sitting at my daughters kitchen table drinking a glass of ice water with her. I don’t feel that motherly love towards my children I say I love them and fake it till I make it. But well, its something, right.

i dont now. i feel strange on my meds today. i am not sure if its not a brain washing thing…

some injustice happened today with me today and i was pissed off… i shouted on the phone to my sz friend… in fact now with zyprexa, per moments in the day i am hyperenergized and angry… i dont know if it always be like that, some help here?..i really want to try this dosage(10mg) cause its just a month on it… in my case its strange cause my emotions are not adequates to the reality and per moments still i just feel dumb emotionally and intellectually…

You are NOT stupid, @Anna1

yeah thanks, but i am sad here… i lost one love because i was mean at the time… i never really felt it normally… dostoievski was saying that the biggest suffering in this world is when you can’t love anymore… i am worried cause i have troubles with my emotions… i can feel sad when i should be happy and now with the meds sometimes i cant feel anything, my emotions are oppressed… i even asked my mom if i should stop the meds in this case?..

I don’t think it’s the meds, it’s probably your depression. You can feel, but things are distorted right? I felt that way for a while and it passed.

Don’t give up on this med again just because you think they aren’t doing anything for you. They are and you have to be patient with the illness and yourself. Don’t expect a miracle, and deal with your symptoms one day at a time. Talk to yourself kindly, and when you think harsh things about your self always leave room for the doubt. I don’t think you’re dumb at all, or stupid. But you keep pressing this issues on yourself like you want them to be true, because if it was true it would be a lot easier to blame your frustrations on them.

You have a terrible illness that plays tricks with your mind. You need the meds, don’t give up on the progress you already made.

i talked to my pdoc on the phone, she told me that i risk to remain desensibilized for my entire life, yeah… i dont see the light if it will be like this… i look dead already at outside… its hard not to have emotions… she didnt talk to me about an antidepressant…

PS: Before I begin this is not an Anti-Med post.

You never really know how the Meds would behave, it can depend on different minds and I mean different brains…we are all basically wired differently…All Meds work on the Neurotransmitters and its quantity by shutting down Synapses between the Neurons. Antipsychotics work on Dopamine NT while Antidepressants work on Serotonin NT.

Dopamine is primarily responsible for sending in the messages which deal with Emotions, Feelings, Perceptions, Creativity and it can all be simulated in 1 word - your Intuition. So by limiting the quantity of this NT between the synapses the messages that are supposed to be transmitted don’t get transmitted. So effectively in short - the emotions, the feelings and the intuition related perceptions that you would ideally have while being Normal (no Meds) would be greatly limited or even stopped temporarily. The upside to this(supposedly) is that you stop having the Delusions that you have for your illness.

The thing about the Meds like I said before is that it is a hammer to the nail approach. The nail is twisted and you hit a hammer to put it inside rather than twisting the nail into position. So its like a hard method.

Again like I said : a. Meds are no cure to the illness. They do not cure the underlying illness (Schizophrenia). The delusions/hallucinations would come back (sometimes with greater intensity) once you stop the meds. The Meds are basically a Neuro-Leptic (Neuro - Mind) – Leptic (Latin for shutting down the brain) - a chemical design to temporarily shut down your brain and/or limit its original natural abilities inorder to control your behaviour for the society and family/people. (So that you stop troubling them).

Well, I didn’t feel much psychotic but I feel with more intensity now that I’m on meds. How do you explain that?

That is remarkable, you would go down as the first case in the history of psychiatry to having felt that

and/or

You are new on medications and the temperory high you feel would soon go away.

and/or

This feeling of you getting high or feeling a greater intensity on Meds is sadly a delusion.

Logically speaking, It should not happen. Meds shut down the brain and limit Neurotransmitters – you are not supposed to feel greater intensity of emotions.

I’m special than. :innocent:

I’m a firm supporter of meds, but I lose money on them, don’t gain any.

I’m symptom free this last week, took me more than a year of despair to reach this point. You’re always delusional and your anti-med talk got old pretty fast.

Anna1 here on the other hand has that type of illness that is resistant to treatment, she suffers a lot. At the same time she never gave a med time enough to have an effect on her. And I’m trying to help her with this situation, you on the other hand think you’re helping but you have absolutely no idea what a person with schizophrenia goes through. You have no idea the pain inflicted and you complaint about the only way out for a lot of people, including me. I know others here who don’t take meds and are anti meds that are humble enough to understand meds help people, even if they didn’t help them or they had other reasons for not taking them. You’re the only one here that pushes an agenda, not the people who are in favour of meds, only you.

I’m tired today, had a long day, I’m out of this conversation.

@Anna1, I’ll keep saying this: it took me more than a year to believe meds were good for me, they are working on you, I can see it from here. You are much less paranoid than when you started posting here. You’re stuck on loop of self pity that you need to get out of in order to get better, therapy would be good for that but you need to want to be helped

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If you believe me my intensity of Delusions have now reduced to Ideas of Reference. They do not last for more than a few hours and then Im back to normal.

Further if I meditate everyday, I have NO DELUSIONS. The problem with me is that I am not disciplined to meditate everyday. I have meditated for 2 weeks and had NO DELUSIONS.

I do take Psychotherapy (intensive one at that) though.

And Again, I am sorry. I did not mean to be insensitive. I do sincerely hope from my heart you get well and illness free. @Minnii

you are right, I was being insensitive and a jerk.

Glad you can see it. Sorry if I was too harsh

you dont have to be…