I need to figure out better ways of sharing besides every infinitesimal detail to my wife because I know that it stresses her out some. I recently fired my therapist and I will see a new one this week, so it may help. I tend to totally unload about my struggles to my wife and it may be helpful to me at times, but not for her. I attend an NAMI Connection meeting, but I don’t always feel comfortable about sharing every detail. If anyone has suggestions, thank you in advance for sharing.
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Where r u from brother…whatz ur age like…btw i am 31 yrs old and unmarried …!!!
Midwest and 50’s.
Best thing to do when describing things to people is to not talk about your perception of it or go into details about your thoughts . Just tell what is bothering and how it makes you feel.
The thing is about schitzophrenia and other thought illnesses is that when you’re at a functioning level and have a grip it makes us want to at times open it back up and see if we can get in there and simplify things or dissolve it. But it’s like opening a black hole and jumping in it.
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I know it sounds counter-intuitive but talk to your wife about this before you decide to take your problems elsewhere. It might stress her out more if she feels “shut out”.
I share everything with my husband and he shares everything with me. I feel rather guilty because I am more of a burden since sz but he doesn’t see it that way. I think our marriage is stronger for the sharing.
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Val that is true, and quick am I to forget the obvious. I think one issue is that my wife is incredibly empathetic, and with thoughts sometimes being very traumatic in themselves, she feels my stress, and on some level, it introduces trauma to her. But again, you are still right. Knowing my wife, she would be more worried if I clammed up and just said nothing.
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You can always unload here, within the limits of the rules of course.
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My husband also prefers when I tell him what is on my mind, instead of clamming up and holding it in.
Has your wife looked into joining a NAMI caregiver meeting! Or joining the family forum of this site? That might give her an outlet, so she can better handle the extra stress.
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I think a good place to unload all the details is a journal. Then if you and her decide she could have access to the journal when she’s in the mood to “hear” it. Also it can help you keep track of symptoms too.
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All excellent suggestions. My wife is a volunteer for NAMI in our area as I am also, but I think the advice regarding joining the family forum on here is a great one. I frequently journal, so that is a good idea also. I don’t really think it would be a good idea for me to vent everything here as I think it could actually be traumatic for some to read my thoughts from schizophrenia, but it is certainly helpful to share things on here.
that’s thoughtful of you to not want to traumatize us. I do get traumatized easily. One time someone posted a picture of an actor portraying a serial killer and I was completely caught of guard and totally upset for the rest of the time. I’m sensitive. Watching tv can cause problems for me because of the commercials for scary movies. I have to hide under my shirt and make sounds and wait for my husband to give the all clear. OMG I’m so neurotic.
Why would someone even post a picture like that, right? That is awful! When you have a venue like this one, understanding some details share may do harm on some level to another is not cool. I also work as a peer specialist at a hospital for a little over ten years. When I started, I took an oath (paraphrased) to never to harm a someone mentally or physically, never financially, and don’t turn my back on someone and allow them to harm. I have tried to integrate that oath into my own life over the years and even my day job (web design) as well.
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