As a kid, scared was never accepted. Actually it was because my parents did not know how to reassure a frightened child. So, I never outgrew it. As a result, I am easily scared now. Mostly I am scared of things an informed adult need not be afraid of. It’s a combination of immaturity and ignorance. I have my work cut out for me.
i have realized that there is nothing to be afraid of in this world .
Ghenghis Khans’ warriors were told to never talk about death , injury, or defeat in battle, they the warriors knew that they were immortal .that is how they fought there battles.
Tecumseh a Red Indian prophet said to make/create your life/death song and live your life with bravery and honour in your heart, do not die asking for more but die like a warrior brave until your last breath .
that is how i try to live my life.
I had a simular problem when I was in my early 20’s I wouldn’t leave the house/bedroom for years. now I’m 29 my birthday is next week and I’m married with a 1 year old boy and I’m loving the outdoors. How I got here.
It’s hard but I had to change my thinking pattern, (automatic thinking)
I used to wonder what everyone thought of me even strangers that I walked past on the street, If I seen someone I didn’t like I’d cross the road and pretend I was doing something (really hidding) I didn’t like confertations so I’d smile and agree for the sake of it.
I got so mad at myself because I had no confidance, And I fought myself with all I had.
to lessen detail, I started forcing myself to think different, Instead of wondering what others think of me I started thinking about them, not in a bad way. until I got to a stage where I started looking at strangers in the eyes and see the pain most people are in. then learing that it’s not all about me, people have hard lives not just me, I got stronger by seen there weakness, until I could help a woman onto a bus with a buggie and two kids and the look in her eyes was more payment than I could imagine. This game me confidance to help people, The more people I helped the more confidance I gained. So I’d recommend charity work.
I got stronger as a man by forcing myself to go to my local supermarket knowing I see people I didn’t want to. This was so hard! and I backed off from the door plenty of times but never gave up. then I went to my nearest city and set on some steps and looked at the 1000’s of people walking around. I couldn’t help but notice that as they walked past everyone it was like nobody excisted but themselfs. I was getting more confidant at this stage so I put my head up and walked through all them people and every single person moved out of my way, You have no Idea how powerful that makes you feel. I learnered alot about myself from just noticing that. Now I make sure I say hello to everyone I meet, obiviously not while walking in a city, But at the shops I have small talk with the staff, I say thanks to the bus driver, I say hello and smile at every old person that crosses my path. By doing this I remember that every person on this earth has problems and them that smile alot seem to have the bigger problems. It has also thought me compashion and while walking in the city I now move out of everyones way young and old, Why? because I remember who I was and would never forget it- I’m no bully. The world doesn’t need any more of them.
Confirtations, I stand my ground, and if | smell ■■■■■■■■ you’ll know I know it.
My point is, You can be who ever you want to be. Only you have the power to hold you back. Don’t aim to be like the majority of people but aim to be as you would like to raise your son.
So how would you like your son to grow up?
to me, militants have already had a nervous breakdown.
Thank you for the post. It’s hard to face these fears all the time, getting to the point where you realize that everyone is having a hard time with something is a huge step forward.
Every small step of kindness that indeed gets returned with kindness boosts the confidence a little more each day. Now your married with a son, that is very cool.
congratulations on getting to this positive point in life. It sounds like it was a lot of work, but you sound happy.
It’s all in the mind. From birth we are programed by our parends to be and act a certain way, Then as we get older we have tv, radio etc where advertisers spend billions to reprogram us. Then we have movies tv programs and MUSIC and all these are highly influential. This generation hasn’t been giving a chance to become their true selfs. ( Way off topic I know) But my point is, I could never fight as hard as long as I was been influnced by everything my eyes see. If @chordy is really looking to change himself, remove his fear. (fear been the hardest and most consumible problem) It is imposable to do so while remaining in the same.
Meaning, if he likes horrors now then he can’t 'now or in the future because the same thinking pateren will arise while watching. same as music, If he likes ganster rap then he has to change that to because the same thinking patern will arise then too. overall meaning If he wants to change then his taste buds have to change to - by force - more than likly. It will mean been bored for a time until his taste buds develop a taste of something else.
This isn’t an easy process, hints why there’s a very old saying (not quoted) A man cannot change unless he’s at deaths door…It’s only then does a man see his problems/faults and relise that the only thing that stoped him from beening who he wanted to be was himself. but sadly it’s to late for him. So he dies with regret.
Thank you for your reply! You’ve helped me remember my early steps. what I call My Darkest Days.
If @chordy finds the currage and fights his old want’s and desires, Then a scared boy will vanish and a soldier will appear. If he has compassion and Honers God’s Son then his possibilitys will be endless and his strength will be noticed. My personal opinion, You can’t do this change on your own you need God. You need his strength. I wasn’t going to bring God into it but I have no choice. I joined this fourm like everyone else to try have my questions answers, There is no answer to any question when the whole truth is missing …
Have a nice day
Quote: “True bravery is not absence of fear. Bravery is being afraid of something and doing it anyway”.
Being afraid of anything went out the window when my depression got bad enough and I stopped caring about anything. Though even when not depressed I still don’t have any direct fear of things half the time. Usually I get more of a physical reaction (uncontrollable trembling, nausea, or heart palpitations) in what would be fearful situations, yet I don’t feel an ounce of fear.
But my reflexes are affected. For instance, it is dangerous for me to drive when I am afraid.
I am afraid of fighting not because i will get beat up, most likely i will be the winner, but i am afraid that all that anger stress will bring back my psychosis. And i don’t want to become delusional. I may become violent to the point that i might use a knife.