sometimes I try really hard to be nice to people in my life only some return it with not only disrespect but what I think of as emotional dart throwing at me.
is there anything to do when that happens besides ignoring it?
is this because of stigma and prejudice?
Some people just lack respect. Emotional dart thats a good way of looking at it
Almost all the people I know have thrown emotional darts at me. Being nice to people can make them feel inferior, and they respond by throwing emotional darts. Best advice I have is to get used to it and don’t think it is because of your bad qualities. Most likely it’s your good qualities and especially your niceness that makes them act like that.
It’s never occurred to me that being nice could make people feel inferior…
OP have you tried talking to these people about it? I’ve had to talk to a few people about the way they “trigger” me, but if I’m not close enough to have that conversation with them I’ve occasionally just had to cut my losses and cut them out of my life. Fortunately, the conversation has gone well with those closest to me…
My therapist said that there are people I simply don’t want in my life and that it’s best to just let go of them and realize they’re the problem, aND that im not. People who want to find fault will find it. It doesn’t matter what you do or say; if they want to cut you down, they’ll find a way.
I think what you refer to is also called projection. Some people feel the negative and bad things in their own lives very real then project it onto others to make them feel better…and to make you feel bad about yourself. I hate it when people start projecting because it is so emotionally intense. I normally try to walk away out of such converations because I am not psycologically equipped to deal with that.
i am tempted to say teach them to throw darts, but usually it is best to just to let them go by.