I haven’t been diagnosed with schizophrenia and I don’t think I have schizophrenia but when I search what I’m thinking on Google, this website usually comes up with someone else’s posts so I thought this might be a helpful place to ask for advice.
For quite a while (since I was about 15/16 years old, I am now 18) I have felt like there is another presence in my mind. Foreign thoughts are being processed in my mind that are not mine. I am not thinking them, but they are still there and I have to listen to them regardless. They are always watching me, whether I am in my room or walking down the street. Quite often, they won’t let me speak, even when I want to. Sometimes, they won’t let me eat much food even though I have lost quite a bit of weight recently and am just a few pounds away from being underweight for my height. They tell me that they will only stop if I die.
I saw a psychiatrist last week and she just prescribed me some antipsychotic medication - which I don’t want to take because it will cause me to gain loads of weight. She doesn’t understand. This thing is taking over my mind and body. Every second of every day, my mind is absorbing all of these signals. I do not know if these signals are randomly floating around or if they are being transmitted specifically to me by someone/something. I’m pretty sure it is the latter.
I can also hear other people’s thoughts. I hate being in busy/noisy places because my mind gets so full and it’s like a whirlpool.
Does anyone know what might be happening to me? What should I do? Why is this happening to me?
You should listen to your psychiatrist and try the antipsychotic, not all of them will cause you to gain weight (even if it would be good for you to gain some weight in this moment).
Have you discussed the weight gain concerns with the doctor? They may be able to prescribe a more weight neutral AP. In the end though, would you rather have mental peace and be fat, or be thin and tormented?
You may not have to choose, you may find an AP that works and doesn’t make you fat, but you gotta prioritize your mental health.
You sound fairly schizophrenic to me, the way you say you can read other people’s thoughts. I would take the medication if I was you because schizophrenia could be progressing inside you, you don’t want it to get worse.
I have to do what they (the signals) say and I’m not allowed to gain lots of weight. A couple of pounds is fine as that can be lost easily but an extravagant amount is an absolute no no. If the tablets make me gain weight then I’ll have to restrict my food intake even more to compensate and I won’t be able to function.
I’m seeing a doctor in three days so I will discuss my concerns about weight gain with her.
The signals I’m receiving are more linked to Physics than Biology so I don’t see how taking pills will stop them.
I appreciate your reply but the thing is, I studied a module on schizophrenia in my Psychology class last year and the teacher said to us “If you had schizophrenia then you wouldn’t be aware of your hallucinations or delusions because you’d think they are reality”. She then proceeded to tell us that none of us are schizophrenic because she’d be able to tell.
What I’m experiencing is confusing me because I think it’s real but when I try to research the phenomenon, I can’t find any research or information and I just get pages of schizophrenia websites, forums, helplines etc.
Sometimes the signals take over me and I become passive to them. I become stiff and unable to speak, and very nasty thoughts/images flash through my mind. It’s very scary.
I think the psychiatrist was testing me for schizophrenia but I’ve never experienced any traumatic events or abuse so she said that the symptoms I described to her “don’t add up”.
Apparently I’ll be having a physical examination soon to test for epilepsy or a heart/thyroid condition but I honestly think it’s the signals causing this.
If you’re careful with diet it is possible to minimize weight gain.
I know it seems weird, but truly the right med can help.
I think I remember one poster on here commenting that she did not understand how her med could keep confused strangers from yelling at her, but it did, so she takes it faithfully.
There is a high probability that the meds will ‘silence’ these signals.
Psychologists are almost always very ignorant about schizophrenia and related disorders.
You should trust only psychiatrists, for only they work most of the day with schizophrenic patients.
That’s really not true that if you are sz that you cannot be aware that your hallucinations are not real. You can be aware of that, you can be aware of your illness and still have it. It is good to be aware, because then you can get treatment.
The stats say about 50% of people with sz have “insight” or awareness that their symptoms are an illness.
But the good news is meds can work even without insight.
What do you think is telling me that I have to lose weight?
I felt quite “free” earlier so I ate some of my favourite candy but soon after, they were back and sending telepathic messages to me telling me to make myself throw up and they wouldn’t shut up until I did. They even took control of my hand at one point and threatened to make me do it on my bed if I continued to ignore them.
Now they are saying I am not allowed to eat tomorrow.
Yes, these are not telepathic messages, these are common auditory hallucinations, even the part that they took control, you can search in this forum there are many posts about it and for these symptoms the meds works for the majority of people.
well I am a psychologist but i trust psychiatrists more. it is possible to have insight on your delusions & hallucinations. you may see something that’s not real, you may know that it’s not real but still it may be present before you.
you may know that this delusion is irrational but still believe it.
