Schizophrenia.com

Thought Broadcasting is Making Me Feel Completely Insane

Hi, I’m new here. I’ve been really struggling with my mental health the past, well, 3 years, but it’s gotten unbearable the past several months, once the thought broadcasting started. I’ve never been formally diagnosed with Schizophrenia, but I have pretty much every symptom so I’m not sure why my doctor hasn’t made an actual diagnosis yet, but that’s not the important part. I’m currently taking 80mg Latuda and have started seeing a psychiatrist regularly. My delusion is literally starting to ruin my life… I’ll try to explain the delusion the best I can… Basically, I believe or am paranoid that my boyfriend has been cheating on me for the entire almost 4 years of our relationship with his ex-gf (who he was still with when he met me, but she broke up with him when she found out about me)…note that this girl does not (to my knowledge) actually exist, and my bf and his family denies knowing who I’m talking about, it’s all just a delusion. Anyways, this girl HATES me and has been trying to break us up for years and has spread the most vicious lies about me and turned everyone she meets against me. The hallucinations started after I had my daughter three years ago…I started thinking I could hear her and her roommates and my boyfriend talking in my head. It progressed to become daily, then 24/7, even if my bf wasn’t there, I still heard her talking about me all the time…and they have hidden cameras all around my house and are watching me making fun of me all the time. Several months ago, the girl and I somehow became telepathically connected and she can now read my thoughts, and see what I see. Now, her roommate has also been able to do the same. I don’t get a break, they torment me 24/7, interrogate me on things I’ve never done and accuse me of lying about being raped, and they are absolutely horrible to me. From the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep, they’re harassing me. I need it to stop. Has anyone had a similar experience? I know I sound completely off the charts insane. They are command voices too, and tell me they won’t stop until I kill myself. They’re reading everything I write now even, and are judging me and making fun of me. My self esteem has hit rock bottom, and they fat shame me all day telling me how ugly I am. I’m so stressed out, my blood pressure has increased from 110/70 ish to 136/84. I’m scared to even think. Everything I think gets misinterpreted or used against me or I get called a liar…my mental capacity is diminishing. I’m still in college and an a student, but I had to drop two classes and everything I do with school, they’re criticizing me and making me doubt myself. I’m scared I will have to drop out again. I just need the voices to stop.

2 Likes

You are letting people live rent free in your head.

When you realize your true beauty and potential, these voices will go away.

You have a lovely writing style btw. :sunny:

2 Likes

welcome to the forums jenn… I don’t know whatadvice to give you but keep posting here you will find support/relief snd you may even get answers

Wow you are really having a hard time:(
I have some of the same symptoms that you have, the thought broadcasting and hidden cameras. I think my loneliness also
contribute to everytime i have a psycotic episode. Try to sleep alot that helps for me. The brain kind of reset for me after a good night sleep. Hope you will feel better soon, maybe you should also consider going to an asylum. There you will get better treatment

2 Likes

Welcome to the forum!

I’ve been through some of that. I thought the FBI had a hidden camera in my apartment that I found and covered up with duct tape (the only material that would block the camera). And I thought the FBI had my house surrounded with people with sensors monitoring my every move.

I also thought I had a special telepathic link with my ex and thought I knew what he was thinking about feeling.

I also flunked a class and had a hard time studying because of everything that was going on mentally.

I’m sorry you are being harassed so terribly.

1 Like

How long have you been taking latuda? Are you taking it with food (at least 350 calories).

Thanks, ive been sleeping almost 24/7… It’s the only thing that brings temporary relief. But now,when I wake up, she’s there judging me on my dreams and saying im disgusting for what I dreamed about, etc.

I’ve been on the Latuda for a few months, always with food. I feel like I might need to try something else. Abilify didn’t work for me either.

Thank you all who took the time to answer, I really appreciate it. I keep thinking there will be an end in sight, but then I realize there probably will never be an end…

1 Like

The best remedy is not giving a ■■■■ about others opinion and only having ur own viewpoint. Whenever u start getting worked up remember u don’t give a shot about others views don’t even think in the third person or in view point of others and always think only ur thoughts, that’s the only way to live with it. I am really getting very good at this thought broadcast thing now after 6 months or so. Remember this two points and you’ll get back to the old you.

2 Likes

Thanks, ive been sleeping almost 24/7… It’s the only thing that brings temporary relief.

I said this to my care team 15 years ago and they laughed hard at me !

Used to be the same with me (sleep) which was providing a getaway for some time. Now i can live more easily. I sleep less.

I’ve actually been getting into this mindset and it’s been making a huge difference in my mental well-being. I have been able to set boundaries and limits for when I choose to interact with the voices, whereas before, I would get sucked into spending the entire day/night feeding into their BS interrogations and drama and abuse. I have been able to just not care about what they’ve been saying a lot more. I’m still affected by them, obviously, but I have been able to regain some control. I know it’s not realistic to think I can tune them out 100% of the time, but setting limits and being able to draw the line is helping so much to keep my sanity a little more. I have even found a way to completely shut them out for extended periods of time. It takes a little focus, but I’m getting better and better at it. I still really want to try a different antipsychotic though, because the voices are still loud and persistent and present 24/7–its just that I can tune them out now.

1 Like

That’s good news. Just don’t even listen to it… The moment you start to hear them at that very moment pay attention to some other thing or keep your train of thought going and remember you don’t give a damn as it not constructive criticism you r getting but useless ■■■■■■■■, no monetary help from them, no help and don’t give a ■■■■ to their opinion. Has worked for me.

1 Like

Remember to be real to urself…do u want such thinking and not because of their intrusion.

1 Like

I strongly agree with @randalthor sleep if you can, but definitely try to get into a psych ward, they’ll get you straightened out on meds MUCH faster, you really deserve relief!

Thanks! I have gotten in the habit of telling myself that their opinions don’t matter and I shouldn’t care if they believe me or not (they constantly accuse me of lying, when I have been nothing but forthcoming and upfront with them whenever they start with their interrogations and endless questions. I usually get sucked into spending hours trying to convince them that I’m telling the truth and it gets so exhausting and overwhelming). When I feel myself starting to get worked up or stressed out, I stop myself (and them) and tell them I’m not participating in their games right now and that I’m going to tune out now, but if I feel like saying something I will. I am realizing that i actually am in complete control over how and when I respond to them and deal with them and they aren’t worth raising my blood pressure and stressing myself out over. They are pathetic and have no control over me! What they say and think is meaningless and does not matter. They are no better than I am.

I can’t actually agree with you more. Don’t care about my voices opinions unless they have something decent to say.

And with judging thoughts and dreams. They are fleeting and pass by so quickly, why ruminate. Just accept things as they are and live your life.

2 Likes