Time and an ISP just prevented me from doing something stupid lol. I went through a psychotic break in 2007 (my first and only). At the time, there was this guy I worked with that I had just a super duper crush on. I scared him with my crazy and then I was fired the next day. Then I came home, ran away to the north east, and realized (through force) in the psychiatric wing of a hospital in New Jersey ‘Whattya know I’m a schizophrenic.’
I figured when I got home, the best thing to do would be to leave him alone even if I really wanted to apologize. I’ve stayed away from him. But it has always bothered me that I don’t exactly know what happened and I also admit I miss talking with him. So I wrote this email asking if he could provide me with his perspective to help me deal with things. But he changed email addresses and I got a mailer daemon response. I’m not surprised. It has been ten years. But I am both relieved and really disappointed lol. Kind of heart broken.
I find it odd that I have so much trouble letting go. I do try, but I can’t seem to get over it. Sometimes I will go months without thinking about it but then I get really sad. I admit there is a part of me that doesn’t want to let go. But I can’t get that part to budge.
Anyone else ever been in a situation like this?