Last night i barely slept due to my grandmother who has dementia and always talks or shouts loudly at night, woke up several times at night and when i entered my grandmother’s room she was laying on a floor naked and talking non-sense. This increased my paranoia as sometimes at night i can hear almost like voices from hear room. Add to that my dog made literally 10 pieces of s h ii t on a floor that i stepped on it at night and had to clean up with toitlet paper and no gloves and later in the morning my mother said that he has worms as well, so i became even more paranoid, but not causing psychosis or anything, i was just angry, agitated and exhausted from the night. At 7am i got up and had nothing to smoke, so my mother suggested to drive to a shop, so I did. I purchased some groceries alongside some cigarettes and picked up a kebab on the way home. I got home and ate the kebab, felt like hungover from the night and had shakes. Then i laid down and started to have convulsions periodically, but i was not cold neither i was panicking or feeling too anxious.
As to state previously was pre-diabetic when I was teenager and had similar-like symptoms as I had today just I did not pass out. So my mother took me to an emergency room. Waited awhile and then nurse came by and I said “i feel like pre-diabetic, I had convulsions, urinate often and have thirsts at evenings” she did not respond and went into office, when she came back she asked weirdly “What illness do you have?!” I started to stutter and there were many patients waiting and my mom urged to tell her, so I said “schizophrenia” loudly, i felt really uncomfortable, they knew the diagnosis beforehand and then she called in doctor, when he came i explained quickly what happened to me this morning under 15second which is really for us who are ill and started to quiestion if I am taking my medication and if I am diagnosed with epilepsy.I am like dude, you just looked into my files, you know I am not diagnosed with epilepsy. Then he quickly walked into an office and on the way said a shot for diazepam for him and my mother was running after him and begged to check my sugar levels, so he agreed. I feel furious as I try to reduce banzodiapines and diazepam makes me more anxious somehow. So i got my sugar levels checked and got an injection. waited for a long time for results like 15mins and it would take like 2mins. when the nurse returned i was getting up from a hospital bed quickly and she stopped talking for a reason and were looking suspiciously at me, like why I am not drowsy with that medication, in my head I am like “no ■■■■ i took one time 6mg of clonazepam from big panick attack”. It left me humiliated as if all my physical symptoms are from my schizophrenia and the nurse made me shout out my diagnosis in front of so many people, was acting suspiciously and total doctor’s negligence towards my health history. At the time while i was waiting for my shot i heard in the hall the doctor was talking friendly with other patients and asking them kindly, making a joke and listening to them even though they were talking about some serious bacterial infection and that a woman patient got her womb removed.
I’m so sorry you have that feeling. Sounds like you are really going through some hard times. Some hospitals can be really heartless for sure. Stay strong.
I’ve become a ■■■■■ and have started reporting all dismissive actions to the hospital complaint people, then I go onto my state’s license site and complain against the individual on there. State has to look into it. Got the nurse who screwed up my hip with a wrongly and carelessly done injection in major trouble.
The problem is I live in Eastern Europe and doctors and nurses are safe from any responsibility, once you sign anything and whatever happens to you, it is not their fault. It is a huge social stigma to have a mental illness like this in Eastern Europe, it is similar to china: you wont get employed if you say you have it and doctors and nurses treat you like piece of trash and if you try to complain you probably will get called out to be delusional and get a dose of diazepam or haldol.
Ugh, sorry about that. It’s only been the last 2 years I’ve learned to make them treat me human, but I also never go to an appointment or ER without my husband. If they won’t listen to me, they’re damn sure gonna listen o him. If I say no to a medication, and they try it anyway, he will physically block the nurse from me. And he’s 6’1" 375 pounds, try to ■■■■ with him.
In my country they usually charge you with non-compliance and call out the police. I kid you not, there is even a police officer on duty in mental hospitals.
wow. slightly think this should be trigger warning,
reading it was really intense.
I am in shock whole day today, i thought just to have a quick sugar test at the hospital and it turned out this way. With massive diazepam dose I still could not fall asleep when i got home
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