This bears repeating

We had a new female aid working at our facility, and I got the impression she’d been in an abusive relationship. The first time we ever interacted she seemed to want sympathy, which was okay, but not the first time we’d ever exchanged any words. She got angry that I did not pour love and sympathy all over her, but I thought we needed to exchange a few pleasantries first. Besides, she was staff, and I was a patient. I did try to reach out to her later, but I think I did a bad job of it, and she wasn’t interested in anyone who did not immediately pour love and sympathy all over her.

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You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

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Unless the person develops amnesia.


What is the bear repeating?

So don’t waste your first chance on the second impression??

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Sorry. Bad grammar there.

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I think first impressions are greatly overrated. The world in general values first impressions more than I do. Shysters are masters at manipulating first impressions.

I’m guessing you’ve never had the hungover guy riding next to you on the bus puke all over you.

That isn’t a first impression. It is an alarm signal to get away from this guy. If you see someone dressed in gang colors it isn’t a first impression. It is a blatant alarm to be very delicate how you handle yourself. It isn’t an impression. It is a major cause for alarm. An “impression” is not something that is traumatic. An impression is your reaction to a person you recognize as being similar to you in tastes and in breeding.

I’ve learned not to put your expectations or ideas on anything new. I do well socially and that is because I respect boundaries. You don’t step on toes especially when meeting people.

Honestly. You don’t want to come across as creepy and the way you describe your take on things I’d be worried. How do you know how their day is going? How their life is going? It’s your first meeting?

Because your not engaged or getting good feedback you just write it off as their fault? Couldn’t it be because you misinterpreted the situation and failed to see the danger signs?

I tend to think you totally mis read what was going on. Not something surprising because sz will do that but don’t blame someone else for what is probably your failings. … It’s open for sure but that is my take on it from your post.

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