Just wondering -
For a good period of my life, kind of before I lost all hope and kind of just continue through the pavement or whatever having no emotion at all etc,
I kind of had a thought that maybe one day I could go back to normal.
I guess after 7 years I did improve significantly but at the same time I’m basically not holding my own weight.
So my question here is what is your thinking or thought of being normal again not having schizophrenia. Real or not whatever.
I hope to recover again. Initially I recovered in a couple of months. Since I relapsed it might take a little longer, but I hope to recover again.
not real, i thought i could go it alone without meds but it didn’t work, i went mad again but luckily i went straight back on my meds and there was no lasting damage, i now believe i have brain damage and thats how i am going to leave it, its pretty sad but there is no other explanation. 
I’m hoping to improve with Vraylar 6mg, propranonal 10mg, cymbalta 60 mg, and trazodone 50 mg. That’s only 4 meds and my mood is very stable. Depression is a big part of my life. I’m doing well on 2g of sarcosine. I just ordered Sodium Benzoate and will take 1 g a day for a trial. I’m hoping to have a clearer state of mind.
I am not hopeful for a cure, although I am excited for medications that will actually help me out properly. I am feeling like it is impossible to live unmanaged.
My regular beliefe is that anything is possible…getting cured…but today i had this thought…why dont i just stop.trying to get cured and go on with my life.
I mean learn to.live with it.
I think sz is a disease when you whipe out your subconciousness complety lesving no info in it and not being able to take any new info in. Schizophering subconcious is empty. Thats just my speculation.
Only way for a schizophrenc to take new info in is during the short ternm psychosis.
So im thinking why not get psychosis for one day and then recover. My doc said if one is in psychosis too long they get dumb.
But i dont recomend having psychosis. Its your own responsibility. But i think for me only.its good to go over the psychosis border. Cause i know when its time to take a pill even if im totally messed up.
I don’t know if a full recovery is possible. I figure that once you go through psychosis, and voices and hallucinations, positive/negative symptoms etc the damage is done and getting back to a normal life would take a miracle. But improvement and some kind of recovery is certainly possible and realistic.
I feel as if my SZ symptoms are due to an unruptured aneurysm that formed in 2015, so once that heals or is surgically fixed, I feel like I can be at least 80% my pre-aneurysm, pre-SZ normal.
When the pain in my head is minimal (thanks to Niacin), I can actually somewhat function outside, but only while the flush reaction from Niacin is active, which is about an hour long.
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