as of late, a lot of bad things have been going on. my life is falling apart in front of my eyes. i have no one…i feel so alone.this has been going on for 10 years, ill be 23 in september.
i was doing good for a while but my grandma died (in 5 days it will be a year), my dog ive had my whole life died, i lost my best friend and as of last month i realized my girlfriend of a year had cheated on me and our relationship is in big question right now,.
i dont know what is going for me, i have relapsed on cutting. taking too many pills the other night i was shaking and my heart was beating out of my chest i felt sick all day. i dont want to be here anymore. im trying to look out for myself which is why i want to admit myself. reset myself a bit.
im scared though.
It sounds like you really have a lot going on right now. Don’t be afraid to go to the hospital. It is a safe place where you can get a break from the world and have a team of people that will help you. I hope you get the help you need and feel better soon. Take care.
It sounds to me like the hospital is a good idea. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. They can keep you safe, and maybe even make you a little less lonely.
If you are feeling suicidal, please tell someone — a friend or family member, a teacher, a doctor or therapist or call 911 (if you’re in the U.S.) or the Emergency Medical Services phone number in your country.
You can also call a suicide prevention hotline—these are available in the U.S. and in many other countries.
International suicide hotlines:
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
http://www.suicidestop.com/suicide_prevention_chat_online.html
Suicide hotlines in the U.S.:
Hey, friend. I’m sorry you’re dealing with so much right now. I lost my dad thirteen years ago. The anniversary is in a week, and I always have a rough time around now. Losing your grandma and your dog must be very painful, especially when your support system seems so unstable right now.
When I was 23, I had nobody. I was battling delusions, and living in my car. None of my family and friends were speaking to me (not that I blame them. I was not a pleasant person back then), and I thought I was just going to die anonymously in an alley somewhere and be a jane doe forever in the morgue. But that didn’t happen. Instead, I went to the hospital. I got treatment. And when that treatment didn’t work, I tried another one. I found meds that really work for me. I got an apartment, and started to work on repairing relationships with the people I had hurt, and cutting ties with the people who had hurt me. I made new friends, who were supportive and cared about me.
Things didn’t get better overnight, but they did get better. Now, I’m 30, and I can honestly say I love my life. You’ll get there, too. 23 is so young. You have so much of your life left. And your brain has only just finished developing, which means the medications have a better chance of working properly, because you’ve got an adult brain and more stable hormones. This is a really shitty time in your life, but it will pass. You’ll build something you really love. Reach out for help now, and find the tools you need to do that.
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