Think I dodged a bullet

Gonna TW this for sexual trauma stuff .

But this guy I recently saw. He broke things off because he couldn’t handle my mental illness, which fine whatever, I still feel like things could have been solved with boundary setting there but whatever.

But I had a huge red flag I decided to overlook on our second date. We were kissing and he reached for my throat… which, luckily I don’t have sexual trauma, but I didn’t tell him he could do that or that I wanted it or anything like that. Seems wayyy too bold to do that without even asking right?

Yeah pretty certain I dodged a bullet.

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Like he was going to choke you? How long have you known this dude?!

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That’s pretty shallow

I do actually have a fear of this exact thing happening, which prevents me from even trying to date anyone

I don’t understand what the problem is with that. Is this something you don’t do until you have dated for a while?

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A month.

You should at least discuss it beforehand. It could potentially be very triggering for someone, luckily it wasn’t for me but I still think it’s a hard boundary.

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Also it can be but it can also make some sense. The thing is I barely told him what was going on and before we started dating I was very upfront with him about what my diagnoses were. I’m just glad he showed his true colors early on

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Definite red flag.

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Doesn’t sound too strange to me, tbh, and I have plenty of sexual trauma. But if it made you uncomfortable, then it’s good you’re no longer seeing him.

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