They say you're only as happy as your saddest child

I try so hard to focus on the child I have at home. He is thriving. He has a bright future. He works hard and reaps the benefits for all his hard work. He is brilliant, handsome, funny, kind and happy. We are blessed. It’s only a matter of months before I will be saying goodbye to him as he heads off to college and to start his life on his own. I’m happy but sad at the same time. It’s a strange sensation. But with him i feel mostly joy, excitement and pride.

On the other hand, my 20 year old daughter who does not live with me, struggles. She always has struggled. She doesn’t quite seem to understand you get out of things what you put into them. I am sad to say things are getting worse and worse for her and I don’t know how to help her. She is putting a strain on me physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. Now she has come to me stating she wants to leave her husband. She has a hard road ahead and I’m not in a position to help her any more than I already do. I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that neither one of us is strong enough to get through this transition. I spend so much time during my day just calming myself down from the anxiety over worrying about her and my granddaughter. I try to let it go since it’s not in my control but how can I help but worry?

I’m coming to a crossroads in my life, I will be child free for the first time in 20 years and I will be making changes to my life. I won’t be available to support other people anymore. I have plans that take me away from all of that. I wonder what everyone will do to survive once I move on to the new chapter in my life where I make myself a priority and try to be happy regardless of their struggles and the choices that they make.


It is so true that mother’s are only as happy as their saddest child. I was miserable and didn’t even know it really when my son was alive.


I’m sorry that your daughter is going through these things and it is affecting you. Being a mother is definitely a tough and thankless job at times. I sometimes feel bad because i know my mom worries about me all the time. I wish there was something more i could do to change that. I guess it’s what mothers do. I really hope your daughter gets on track with her life and you get some peace in all this. Best wishes.


I think thats right. When my son was in danger, i was constantly terrified. Right now my mum is depressed, because i am unwell.

Im sorry you are worried about your child. Wish you both strength.


Sorry to hear things are not going well @Leaf. I hope things work out for you and your loved ones. Stay strong.
Hugs and prayers.


Maybe your daughter should have been in Girl Scouts, Tae Kwon Do, and tap dancing and gymnastics. Maybe she should have gone to church.

just saying.

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my daughter was in girls scouts, ta chi, tap dancing and gymnastics as a little girl and involved in awanas when she was old enough. It’s supposed to build self esteem. I would hope she’ll do all those things with her own little one in time. Maybe she’ll have all that to draw upon in her time of need. Idk.

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I feel sorry for my parents if that’s the case. I personally think you are doing the right thing. My parents have always been there to pick me up when I fall but I’ve fallen a lot. If you don’t learn how to pick yourself up you can’t when no one else is there to do it for you. My brother was rarely picked up when he fell and he’s turned out well. I say all this to say that your daughter needs to learn to deal with her own problems. I know it has to be hard.


I wonder the duration of the child’s involvement.

My daughter did band instrument all through middle school and high school.

You can’t be in something sometimes.

My daughter was a hard head and I had no idea how to parent her. She’s ok though I think. She’s in college now and has been with the same guy for 3+ years.

She says she’s abstinent. I hope it’s true. I regret loosing my virginity to someone I wasn’t married to.


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