There's no such thing as a typical 'day in the life'

A day in the life…

Wake up at a reasonable time, drink tea, smoke cigarettes
or
Wake up at 4am, drink tea, smoke cigarettes

Listen to music on youtube and sing along, feeling cheerful and motivated
or
Realise it’s going to be a horrible day and hide under the covers

Do all the housework and clean until everything is spotless
or
Stare miserably at the dishes then go lie on the sofa under a blanket staring into space

Take the time and effort to cook a delicious meal
or
Not bother to eat and lie on the sofa feeling miserable and staring into space

Laugh off any minor problems and get things sorted if needed
or
Fly into a rage and spend the next several hours pacing and ranting

Catch up with friends and family on the phone/facebook
or
Turn off my phone and ignore all messages

Watch a movie and chat with my boyfriend
or
Cry and wail for an hour then sink into a numb, empty catatonic state of exhaustion

Chat to people online and feel good about the ‘safe’, anonymous social contact
or
Become increasingly paranoid that everything I say is offensive and inappropriate and I should really just live as a hermit in a cave

Shake off the worries and chill out
or
Work myself up into a horrible state of panic and guilt

Go to bed and fall into a peaceful sleep
or
Go to bed and realise sleep is impossible with all the crap racing through my head

Repeat, vary, repeat, vary, repeat…

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It seems like the choices are ours more than we know.

Maybe, in some ways… I do try to control myself, to be rational, but I feel like my choice to choose is being taken away from me… I’m in a whirlpool of raging chemicals and limitless ethereal forces and I’m only me, I can’t fight the whole world and everything it throws at me. I try, but mostly I fail.

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How easily the mentally ill get called lazy!

So true… I don’t think some people understand just how hard we work to make it through the day sometimes.

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I feel guilty. That I don’t have a job, that I’m not a ‘productive contributor to society’. I wish I was ‘normal’. I’d rather be earning my own money than getting benefits, I hate the way people judge, the label, ‘lazy benefit scroungers’… Who would choose a crippling mental illness over a normal life?

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Who would choose it? Maybe someone who wanted to get even with a ghost.

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Thanks, that made me laugh.

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We are the minority.