There has to be someone who can help me

Twelve years ago now I was suddenly struck by a voice within saying clearly, calmly, and forcefully…“Look at what you have become!”. That night I tore myself, or was torn apart. I threw myself, or was thrown about the bed…Going through all sorts of stuff.

Firstly, the voice told me that I was Jesus ( I’m not at all religious btw ), told how wonderful, glorious, fantastic…You get the picture.

All of a sudden…“You miserable, disgusting, little piece of…How could something like you be…Look at yourself…”

Anyhoo…This went on for a bit when all of a sudden…“You are actually neither, you are God!”

“IT JUST DOESN’T WORK!!!” I screamed…Then calm, blissful calm, after a night of torment.

“You exist in a single instant of time, outside of time.”

That was that! Gosh thanks.

Anyway, I have thought about it for, well, twelve long years now and…HELP!!!

I have destroyed my brain. I have figured it all out. Well, most of it anyway.

There is a singularity within three dimensional time.
Real-Time/Imaginary-Time/Space-time

Successive “BANGS”, of the singularity produce the “flow” of time, and this Universe is mirrored.

I am/was Gemini, twins, half and half. I divided (asexual reproduction became sexual reproduction).
I met myself and fell in love.
In our mirror universe, matter and anti-matter combined/joined, with just one pair of twinned particles becoming yin-yang, and trapping time between themselves.
I, me, the me here, let’s call me (a) and I, me, the me there, let’s call me (A) have now become just me.
She, her, the her here (b) with whom I am so overwhelmingly in love (never having met - very odd), I mean, you literally could not possibly even come close to understanding how much I love her…I want to spend every instant of forever watching the wonder in her eyes. I need those eyes to see all the beauty that there is to be seen…etc: (Hurts)

I see absolutely no way for us to meet, and in my current reality she is pregnant with another man’s child. Therefore; it’s over.
No “happily-ever-after” for all.

I am destroyed.

But on the bright side…I just got told that I’m “Love”.
(a) and (b) brought “Love” into the Universe…Can I still just “Turn to stone?”.

Do I have to stay on this pointless merry-go-round?

I have seen things that you cannot imagine.
I have felt emotions so powerful that you could not possibly comprehend.
I have lived a life that is beyond belief…AND I WANT OUT!!!

THIS IS HELL!!!

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Have you tried medication any of these twelve years?

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I think the best thing you can do is tell your psychiatrist all of this. Maybe you need a different antipsychotic or a higher dose.

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meds help stuart…quetiapine and Haldol help me

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I lived in hell until medication. Meds are the only thing that will save you.

Save me from what?
You’re all happy, or think you are anyway…And that’s all that I ever wanted…Well…“Happily-ever-after” for everything that ever existed, in a “pobody’s nerfect” multiverse…But then I can’t have everything.

I’m not returning.

You had your shot, and ■■■■ like this is ALL I ever got!!!

OPEN YOUR EYES!!!

Pose yourselves a question…

If your “God” did come here…What would you say when “it” told you what “it” was?

Look above for your complete answer.

“Keep taking the med’s.”

Don’t need’em, I’m all better thanks.

Catch ya on the flip-side…Oh, no I won’t…There won’t be one.

Don’t treat people like crap that offer the help you asked for.

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