They get me at home, at work, in the car and out at restaurants and in the backyard. It was all over my clothes, it was in my water, it was happening to me at jobs. The fumes are making me sick and hurt all over. I can’t think clear, it makes my skin feel raw and my eyes blur and ache and makes me irritable. I just don’t understand why this is happening to me.
I think maybe you should start attacking these poisoning thoughts. Acknowledge that your body is feeling uncomfortable. Sometimes bodies ache or itch or what have you. Bodies are gross and obnoxious, from my experience, lol. Maybe try a different thought track. Example
“My eyes are really itchy/sore and my vision is blurry. What normally causes this? Exhaustion can cause dry eyes, so can allergies and dry air. It is likely one of these things. I am safe and my body is acting naturally.” This is a healthy thought process you can practice, and eventually train your brain to respond in this way.
Currently your thought process is, I imagine, something like this
"My eyes hurt and my vision is blurry. Why is this? I am anxious and don’t understand these sensations. Maybe I am being poisoned. I can’t trust anyone. I am in danger." This is unhealthy.
This happens to me too, in the winter. Have you tried using an unscented lotion? Eucerin and Aquaphor are the best brands to go with. And a simple saline can help your eyes. The cheapest contact solution you can find is likely just saline, with no added chemicals.
Are you on medication? Are you getting help and support from anyone in real life? If not, you may want to look into it.
I have serious allergies that often manifest in itchy red skin. The only moisturizer my skin can tolerate is aquaphor.
You have done nothing wrong
Your body your own
The mind is tricky with this
Love to you