Theory of psychosis/sz

Do believe that once you have your first major psychotic episode, a box is opened that can never be fully closed? I sometimes feel that way. I really think a fundamental part of me changed forever when I had my first psychosis in 1992 that made me more prone to future episodes if I didn’t take the meds.


Yeah you are never the same.

Having a psychotic disorder like Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective can be a scary experience.
I have been feeling creeped out lately.

Even if I am well the rest of my life. I can’t forget my first psychotic episode. Nor my second, for that matter. It was like I was being controlled by an outside force. Impossible to forget. As far as whether it ‘opened’ a part of my brain that can’t be closed, I don’t know. I take my meds and go to therapy but I am hopeful that I can have a long remission from psychosis and paranoia and maybe…go off meds one day.
My pdoc said that if the only thing wrong is my delusion, she supports me going off meds. I take meds because I am paranoid and afraid of psychosis. Great reasons to take meds.

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I take meds because I am afraid of being super duper paranoid. Stuck in a hyper paranoid and hallucinatory state that I can’t get out of. As long as I take my meds, I am A-OK.