The ultimate sz/sza question

“de·lu·sion
noun
an idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rational argument, typically a symptom of mental disorder.” - from Googles English dictionary

So the question is:

Is a delusion really a delusion if you realize that it is a delusion, based on this definition?

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I still maintain there is a middle ground where some people are that they reject their delusions, but still have some doubt.

A state between psychosis and full recovery.

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All I know is I always have a tickle in the back of my brain about being the son of Lucifer. And catch myself looking for signs and wanting to hear from him again. No idea what that all means. On meds, take them as scheduled.

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I don’t know if im sza or bipolar psychiatrist didn’t tell me, but i also get weird ideas on my head out of nowhere related to the devil and conspiracy stuff, even though i normally don’t pay attention to it.

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This is a topic that I have posted about before. As far as I know, there is no psychiatric term for condition where people still have beliefs, but mostly reject them. Is it psychosis? Is it recovery? IDK. Maybe it depends just how much doubt you have in them.

Anyway, it’s a topic I find interesting, and I don’t believe it’s something that is covered by psychiatrists. To them, it seems, it’s either black or white, psychosis or not, but it seems to me there are people in the middle.

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I am one of those in the middle. Same with hallucinations, I’ll be seeing something and saying that’s not real.

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I’d believe that although I understand other say it’s a delusion I’d say it’s real.

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Why don’t you call up your pdoc and ask?

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Schizophrenic mathematician John Nash fought his delusions and questioned them, and he could easily ignore them.

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Thats a good idea, im kind of shy though.

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I knew, logically, that my beliefs were delusions. Mostly because my pdoc, nurses, and everybody else in the world told me they were delusions. But my emotions, my gut, and all my 5 senses told me it was all as real as the nose on my face. So yes, I believed in my delusions. And in a way, I still do.
@Niko_Alyxandir @CLAYBALL @Leaf
@Hadeda

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When i was hospitalized and they told me i had psychosis i thought i was being framed. After getting medicated and having a lot of time without evidence the chip on my head was real, i came to the conclusion it was all in my brain, but still get the occational jumpscares specially after my first manic episode.

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Well, I think it just depends on if you still believe it. No matter what anyone says, you still believe it. I think you can recognize that it doesn’t make sense or that it isn’t rational, yet you can’t shake the belief.

For a long time, I thought “they” (vague “people”) were watching me on cameras, waiting to frame me for a crime and send me to prison.

Well, I was medicated this whole time that I had this delusion. I talked to Hubby about it, over and over. I knew it was irrational; I knew it didn’t make sense. But I was still so paranoid. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I would try to tell myself that it couldn’t be true, but there was this part of me that held onto it. That part of me was saying that it was true. And I couldn’t do anything to make that go away.

The delusion, eventually, did go away. But I think that was from a med change. I tried to will it away and got nowhere. Only the meds could get rid of it.

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Somewhat applicable…

It’s the meds that drag us out of the cave and into the full light of day. Not everyone handles it well.

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there have been times even in the midst of delusions where i’ve thought ‘nah’

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I think it is still a delusion. Theres posters here with persistent delusions who often title their topics “my delusion” etc. I have had delusions and got a tear in my eye because of how emotional it was knowing it was false but still believing it. Real struggle.

Although maybe a thought that you know is a delusion is something like a fixed idea.

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I usually start to get a delusion creeping up and get paranoid about it. But then can realise it wasnt true after a short while. Thsts when im well anyway. If im unwell at the time i will hold onto it for a lit longer.

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I’ve had on and off delusions about how real the voices are.

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You can call something a delusion but still have some belief in it. I saw a psychiatrist on a podcast explain that people with SZ often wind up in an intermediary state once medicated after the first break from reality. I think that means you’re still coping with delusion to a certain extent. Hope that’s interesting. I will further quote that podcast in a future post. I’m talking about Lex Fridman interviewing Karl Deisseroth, good stuff.

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