For a long time i had this lingering feeling that my old self was where it was at. But if it lead me to here being sick. Maybe i was doing things wrong. For a while my only goal was to remember the last sane thought i had in my life. And revert back to that state of being. But maybe i have to let the old self finally go and rebuild anew. Make use of some tools to keep myself above water. I am working froma a new philosophy and trying to see the beauty in life. But i dont know if it will be enough. Currently i am keeping my circumstances at bay. But i dont know for how long.
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this sounds like a good positive outlook 
good lucks
Good luck man !
At a certain point in life, you get so you have enough of wits to improvise your way thru any situation at all. It’s “the coming of wisdom with time.” Experience teaches it. Best wishes on turning a new leaf.
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