The savior complex and the prostitute. TW: general Llamaness

Just heard the name of an ex of mine, woken some old memories. So it’s story time while I process.

So I’m somewhere lost in New York, she lived at the barracks for a while, when the cult was still together. Like all the other outcasts she found a place she thought she belonged.

Been selling her body since she was a teen. Escaped Russia, orphaned, on drugs like the rest of us. Really troubled soul.

She knew a lot, was street smart genius, and was beautiful. Two troubled souls can sometimes attach very quickly, only to burn out fast and bright.

Kissed a few times, New Years was our first. Never slept together, she would of been happy if she never had sex again.

In my drug addled proselytizing she was my priestess. I wanted to save her. Couldn’t save myself.

We never really broke up, we just both ran in separate directions when the feds shut us down.

Here’s to you O. I hope you’re doing well.

:neutral_face::expressionless::neutral_face:

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nice read fifteen

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Thank you. Writing helps me process.

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I’ve been stumbling down memory lane a bit as well, recently. Trying to explain to the kids how sometimes, you’re an amazing person, and they are an amazing person, but together you both end up being super toxic. Reminds me of an old flame from my youth. We were madly in love, and every time we tried to show it we kept hurting each other.

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The toxicity was proliferating from everything surrounding that point in my life. Best thing I ever did was run, as bad as that sounds.

What I hope most TBH, is that she saw not every man is a pig who just wants one thing, I hope she saw someone who cared for her, despite her past.

Rife with my complex and all.

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You’re from New York??? I thought you seemed like a west coaster dood

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Born and raised in California, lived in Vegas for a few years, and NYC for a few years.

My 20’s were kind of wild.

Ps: live in CA currently too.

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It is what it is what it is what is

(Me who can’t stop singing my new song I made yesterday )

Cuz it is what it is what it is what It is!

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Lol, yes it is!

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She probably does. I still speak fondly of the guy I met in a pub in London, who took me back to his place and within 1 minute of kissing could tell I wasn’t into it and pulled back and said “if you would rather, we can just watch Firefly.” And we spent the night watching firefly and talking about philosophy. In the morning he made breakfast and paid for a cab back to my hostel. I will never forget him, because I found it so strange and unique at the time that he wouldn’t want to hook up with someone who wasn’t into it. Now I know that’s normal, and I just had some very bad luck previously.

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Sounds like a good guy, I hope he remembers you fondly too.

That’s all we can really do, isn’t it? Enjoy our moments and hope the other party hasn’t forgotten. I know I haven’t forgotten her.

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I kind of wish I could like, leave a review for him or something. “Fully decent guy who respects everyone and is probably marriage material for anyone who is attracted to men. Definitely date him.”

Yeah, there are so many brief meetings I have had with folks, both platonic and romantic, that I will probably never see again but who were so important to me.

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So what your saying, if I take this right, Is you want a form of social credit score? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

I would imagine meeting someone like you is hard to forget too. We should party. Lol.

It’s amazing how little things like that can leave such an impact. It’s borderline triggering. Can flare up the references.

If we can make this world even a small fraction better for people, it’s worth the struggle I suppose. I’m not a nihilist.

Thank you dude.

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Someone once told me back when I had long hair

He called it

“Cali swag”

He said he “loved it” :heart_eyes:

Would’ve felt more appropriate if he said alien from a very similar land that’s far far away , swag :alien:

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Lmao not at all,but i sure hope he has found someone decent who doesn’t take advantage of his kind soul.

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I mean, stastically, given the crowds we both ran with and the amount of travelling we have done, we very well may have been at the same party at some point.

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Wooo! That’s cannon in my head now. Lol.

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