I struggle to convince myself I have a right to be where I am. I never belonged much more than to know momentarily what it feels like.
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I can relate. I’ve spent my whole life feeling like I don’t belong in my own skin. Is this because of he sz? Is it more prominent since you were diagnosed?
It’s about being unwanted - it really hurts.
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Does it have to do with how your mother was? I remember you talking about that before.
Yes it was. My parents didn’t want me. They had even planned on aborting me but the plan didn’t go through.
I knew poverty and misery for most of my childhood. Being moderately successful as someone middle class now… I worry that I’ll lose it. That people will discover where I came from, take away what I have, and send me back to where I was. I know it’s not logical, but it’s this nagging fear that’s always in the background.
Yeah, I need therapy.
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I don’t know what good therapy would do you. You understand the situation. The thing of it is that we consider what we grew up with as our normal and without knowing it seek that “normalcy”. We need a strong middle class as anyone will tell you, so I hope you stand your ground.
Yes! And it’s scary the way the middle class is eroding.
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@shutterbug I have the same fears. I’m terrified of going back to where I came from. If something happens to my husband, that’s where I’ll end up. He is my life line. To people who knew me before, I’m feel like I’m still that poor girl whose parents didn’t want them to come over to my house because of the neighborhood I lived in. I’m having visitors over soon, and I’m worried that they won’t be able to see past that.
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Understanding something and dealing with it properly are different issues.
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you can thank Republicans for that !! they hate the middle class…they call it “class warfare” when in reality they are the ones attacking us…
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I used to have a hard time with ppl who force me to belong to a group, esp. at work when I wanted to be alone, they forced me to talk to the other employees.
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Sorry, @shutterbug, I thought understanding meant you did know how to deal with it. My problem with semantics. Yeah, just like I understand that I’m obese, it doesn’t mean I can lose weight.
I’ve never felt a belonging anywhere on this planet. I’ve tried and tried. Not in my family, not in my husbands family, not at any church, not when I was in school,(not even in art school), and not at any job…
When I’m out in public it’s hard to feel any connection to the humans around me… I am separate. Sometimes it bothers me and sometimes it doesn’t.
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I thought everybody was my mother - my perception of others was that poor. Mother had the power to uninvite me and she did. So I thought that that was everyone and felt that I had to force my way into people’s lives out of sheer necessity.
I also had the sense of not being connected to anyone or anything. I even didn’t feel connected to my own past, present or future. It really affected the way I ran my life. But somehow I’ve changed a little. I think since I’ve met my husband things have really changed for me. I know that for the first time in my life I actually feel loved but I don’t know if that’s why I feel connected now. It’s most likely the meds honestly. I still feel separated sometimes but it’s not how it was before. It’s not a huge abyss between me and everyone else.
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I struggle with this daily, I’m never good enough to be loved.
I’m still trying to learn that money can’t buy me love. I always wanted the power of money.
I’ve never felt like I belonged. When I go out it feels like everyone is talking in a language I don’t understand and I always feel like I’m a foreign invader. I keep thinking I’ll get deported for not being like everyone else. This makes me try to be invisible. When I was rough sleeping it made me feel even more like an outsider and now I am struggling to reverse it.
I definitely never felt like i belonged and still don’t. It does hurt 
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