Once I got off crack my life improved greatly. I don’t need to explain what a life abusing drugs is like to a lot of you. You know. But when I got clean I got a job recycling cardboard, wood, trash, etc. I stayed there three years. I was living in a board and care home at the time and two or three days a week I would get myself up at 6:00 am, take a shower, get dressed, pick up my lunch bag from the women who ran the home, walk out 15 minutes to the bus stop, and catch two buses for an hour and a half to my job. And then back. And in my first six months of serious continual recovery at the board and care home, I decided on my own to go back to college. So I did everything necessary to get registered and pick classes and pretty soon the days I wasn’t working I was taking two classes at the community college. This was a 30 minute bus ride, one way. And back. And after my classes I would often go across the street from the college to have lunch at the diner. I did this for 5 years. On weekends I was visiting family. And sometimes even taking Amtrak for two and a half hours to visit my dad in Sacramento. Trains are cool,right? Lol. But I would never have done any of these things if I had been smoking crack.
hey nick. was clean, but now in another little relapse… the anit psychotics don’t make me feel better, and weed doesn’t help. i always say one of these days i’ll let it go, but not today… my mindset just can’t stay on quitting or using. and i’m always in between. my mind can’t stop changing.
then i figure who cares, were born, we live, we die, and + we have this incurable problem as well. sometimes that’s my excuse.
Hi. I had to learn the hard way too. With all due respect your rationalization is a fallacy, Amplitude. You are treating your bad schizophrenia recovery as an excuse to make yourself worse with drugs!!! Good luck and I hope you stop using drugs one day soon for your own sake.
My parents have not turned their back on me, they didn’t do “tough love” but there came a point when I was at the end of my luck with them. They really didn’t have the energy to clean me up only to have me swing right back into using again. So they told me… we love you, but we have to feed your siblings and make sure we ourselves don’t end up homeless.
They were very leery of my “promises” to get clean and sober and they were a little more conservative with giving me money to help me. I always felt like they didn’t quiet believe or trust me. Plus they tried to keep my sister away from me if I was high or drunk. That would make me angry. I thought they were being so selfish…
I was not thinking that making a 10 year old little girl deal with a paranoid, drunk psychotic adult was selfish at all. Looking back, I’m glad my sis didn’t see me when I was completely wrecked. But at the time that would just piss me off to no end.
When I quit promising to quit and actually did quit… everything changed. They were happier and more willing to help me. Therapy went so much easier. It’s amazing how much my paranoia dropped when I wasn’t drunk and freaking out on amphetamines. My sis was allowed to hang out with me again.
It just blows me away how much easier life is without the drugs.
You save money and your life, I have never even tried any drugs in my 47 year old life, but I know many people want to get high, this is a modern trend even increasingly in the society where I now live, my advice is never to try even.
Then you do not do all kinds of crazy and perverted things. Once I was in a rock concert in Atlanta and some people were high on marijuana and they started having sex on the lawn in the middle of other people. People do all kinds of crazy things when they are high.
I know it’s a fallacy nick, but sometimes I just have no stopper, and I fall right back into the cycle. This girl I’m seeing basically brought me back into it, even though I came willingly, from 30 days clean back into the cycle. At least I get to have sex now? is that the added bonus?
I found my roomates pipe. Don’t smoke it. Steel wool and shi# can get in your lungs and then cause nodes that look like tumors. It don’t help that he smoked. Makes people who care worry. I think you have to pride to someone just realizing that you never know who you may meet.
One very practical benefit is that if you do not buy drugs, you do not finance other criminal activities. For example, all those Jihadists sell heroin in Russia and Europe and then they buy weapons to kill other people with this money. People do not either know or understand this as long as they get their highs.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so harsh. Drug use is a issue with a lot of people. People know about drugs. People will quit when they want to. Part of being addicted is that you can’t stop when you want to, part of addiction is that you can’t control your drug use. It might be of some benefit to you to take one of the numerous online self-tests to see if your an addict.You’ve probably heard someone say about drug use and recovery: “Quote, : I got sick and tired of being sick and tired”. I’m dealing with recovery too. Yes, sex is great. But recovery is great too. But you can have your cake and eat it too.
thanks nick. yes i’ve heard that at NA meetings before. I know I’m an addict, I don’t need to take a test.
I will quit in due time, I’m thinking day 1 will be tomorrow or monday.
This makes me sad. I’m sorry you were a month in and got derailed. I had a girl who dumped me when I tried to quit drugs. We were together during the height of my drug use days, we were even engaged. Wedding was off when I quit supplying her drugs. When I finally quit, she was so mad at me. She made life pretty hard. She only have sex with me when I would supply the pot, coke, meth, alcohol… Coincidence? Most likely not.
I got clean and she kept on partying… I found out a bit ago that she overdosed and died. She was 26.
yeah, she didn’t force me into it… but i knew i was headed for a relapse, and it was easy to make a connection with her through the pot. still, she buys a new bong and basically wants me to keep it at my place. lol. the universe just gives me smoking utensils and stuff.
Yeah, I kind of was wondering just a couple days ago what people thought of my posts. I guess some people like them and some people don’t. Boring? That’s fine, I’ve never had a friend in my life tell me I’m boring. But yeah, I realized in sixth grade that girls didn’t want to see me fight, I guess they weren’t as excited by me as they were my friends. Some girls like me. I like some girls. Not all girls like me. I don’t like all girls. But yeah, I may not be exciting but I have fun anyway. But yeah, I was walking around until 1:00 am tonight. Fun times. But yeah, I like being a good person. I was not always a nice person growing up.
Haha,this is an interesting post to read…
Yes, women can be the devil sometimes …
When you really quit and your habits change, and your friends change, and you do different stuff, the drug toys quit coming your way.
I’m on the opposite end of the scale… you and I have had some similar life experiences and I usually get some ideas from your post. I feel I’m on close to the same road as you, just years behind.
You are still working, learning, close to your sisters, healing, and most of all, still alive to tell about it.
I do read your post. Thank you for posting.
I guess. I aim to please.