The persistent voice I don't understand

The voices I hear usually tell me to do all different things at different times. And they all seem to come from different places, except for one. There is one voice that is persistent and it ALWAYS tells me to cut all my hair off. I have no idea why. It doesn’t seem like there’s any point to cutting my hair off. Every other command has a purpose, mostly bad, but still they have some sort of meaningful outcome if I did them. Any one else have a voice that tells them to do something that really has no meaning?

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yes, i had a voice telling me to kill myself but i didn’t let it get to me, i did what i alswys do when i feel bad and there is no-one there and i phone a helpline and i talked it over with someone, at first i was quiet and unable to talk, i think i was in shock about it all (a nurse called me a bad name) but now that things have settled down its getting better but i still haven’t got a care team to talk to, sorry back to voices, i think these were intrusive thoughts but they were making me think about harming myself, of course i would never do it but you know these things sometimes pop into your head and you need to be ready so i just dismiss these things but i had to talk to someone that night.

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Weird question but do you ever either a) feel the need to hide who you really are or b) wish your life would change?

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Would cutting your hair off feel like a “social suicide”?

The voices are sneaky and want to set you up to be depressed so that they might learn more of your fears and negatives to take to ■■■■■■■ with you to a higher degree…

They want control… but rest assured they’re fragments of what a true consciousness is. They are dependent on you… and you will always be more than they.

The “voicebox” where they come from is the counter conscious… though it relays itself through many forms… it’s one entity… one perspective… the illness is just one very complex thing. Put it in its box… see the uniformity behind it. They are just voices, they are not looking to help you though they might play what they are… these little half consciousness seek a purpose… don’t give them one… at least not in a long term sense.

Let them dwindle over time and keep focused on real things…

I have one whispering voice… dark and gritty and full of mystique. Can only pick out the odd, unexplained, and obscure words it spits at me. It wishes for me to see the illness as too much to ever comprehend and that I myself am hell-bound. It matters not to me… they just wish to confuse me so I might feel weak and in my weakness they’d depress me and in my depression I become psychotic and entertain the hypothetical as real and round and round it goes…

Just tell it you like your hair the way it is every time it says that…

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Don’t do it. Long hair is so pretty :slight_smile: I did it one year and I couldn’t imagine why afterwards. Now it’s summer again and I have long hair. It’s hot as bejeezus.

Besides taking a while to grow back I don’t think the voice will be satisfied with that. I think that it would just move onto something else.

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They usually tell me to do that too, just in many different ways. This is the only thing that didn’t really make sense. Phoning in to someone sounds great for the episodes between therapy sessions. I’m worried they will send an ambulance to my house though or put me on some kind of watch. I don’t want to be committed. How do those phone lines work?

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On a related note, do voices have to have an actual… voice? I “hear” them inside of my brain so they don’t pass through my ears. I am unable to hear if one is higher or lower than the other. There is no sound quality. Would the correct term be intrusive thoughts? I don’t feel like these are my own thoughts though (to the point that I think they’re being put into my head) and hence my use of the word “voices”. But are they actually voices if I don’t hear them with my ears?

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That makes sense, I cut a couple inches off to make it stop and told everyone I just wanted the dead ends gone, but the voice didn’t stop. I knew I couldn’t cut it all off, and it kept telling me over and over so I started pulling it out. I have a pretty nice size bald spot from it. I’m terrified that someone will see it and ask why I’m bald there, but so far I’ve been able to cover it up. I think it feeds off that terror. My boyfriend always says how he never wants me to be bald. I guess they are sneaky. If I did it Id probably never leave the house and now it’s feeding off of the fear I have about people seeing the spot … Sneaky little…

When you cut it, did the voice stop?

A.) my family doesn’t even know I was diagnosed with schizophrenia because I feel that they shouldn’t see that part of me. I’m constantly avoiding the topic with them. So yes.
B.) Also yes, I wish to have this same life I have now without the psychosis. Things would be great, but we just have to handle the cards we are dealt the best we can right.

I say that because “cut all your hair off” could be referencing to wanting a sudden drastic change in your life. Hair also can be used to “hide” (the face, the head) so that could also be the voice wanting to be seen and not be “hidden” anymore.

I feel sometimes it’s good to understand possible messages behind voices, as I feel they come from the subconscious and can be interpreted similarly to dreams. What they say isn’t always what they mean literally. A woman gave a Ted talk about it once. Don’t remember her name though.

Also a possibility, before all of this started the only way I could really get over something good or bad is if I spoke to people about it. But since all of this is pretty new to me (it’s been 4-5 months) I don’t feel ready to tell my friends and family.bespecially with the stigma behind it all… My T suggested I start with a forum like this. So I have.
However, this voice really wants me to literally shave my head bald. So I’m not sure if there’s meaning behind it. I guess I’ll find out either when I finally tell my loved ones or when I cut my hair. Hopefully speaking up comes first.

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If you do ever tell your loved ones I’d be interested to hear if the voice changes!

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Step one towards recovery or at least less struggle: I told my boyfriend today!

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well basically they are called the samaritans here in the uk and it is totally anonymous so you can talk to them about anything i think and they won’t do anything except listen and try and comfort you, you don’t give them any details and you don’t even need to tell them your name, if you are in the uk then here is the website with the free phone number on it - http://www.samaritans.org click on the contact us now button and it will take you to ways of contacting them

here it is for the usa - http://www.samaritansusa.org/index.php you can read this if you like and then go to the contact page on the left to get the phone number

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Yes thank you! I know we have a suicide hotline (in the us), but they will call an ambulance so fast! So I’ve never called before. But this sounds so much better I’ll have to give it a try.

Congrats!! :blush: I recently had a “coming out” phase of my own where I told my friends about my illness so I know how difficult it can be. But it’s so great once you don’t have to worry about secrets!

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I’ve been wandering the same thing. Sometimes I hear voices outside of my head, then there are the thoughts/ voices on the inside. It’s still like a voice inside my head but the voice in my head doesn’t sound male or female. So I’ve been classifying them as intusive thoughts but I’m not sure if that’s correct either. Anyone know the difference?

There’s inner voices and outside voices, I got mainly inner voices, only heard outside voices twice, calling my name. My inner voices aren’t pleasant, and talk gibberish a lot.

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My outside voices mostly call my name too. It’s creepy as heck. But it’s even creepier when they say other things. So just to clarify the other is inside voices?

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