Do the people around you pick up the slack when you can’t motivate yourself to do housework? Do they rise to the occasion and help out? For me it seems if I try, they try. If I can’t muster one single ounce of motivation, they don’t either. They seem to match what I’m able to do and it really, REALLY is starting to piss me off.
It’s these times when I need them the most. I need them to see me struggling and just pick up the slack. I get so downtrodden looking at the clutter. I have to remind them to do their chores even. WTF. Come on people let’s just try to not use my lack of motivation as an excuse to be lazy assho*les. Then I feel guilty for thinking they are lazy because I’m sure they think I’m just being lazy.
But I am not now, nor have I ever been lazy. I think that’s what gets to me the most it that I would never do this to someone else. I would pick up the slack if I only could, I wouldn’t let someone else just sit there in the quagmire. I’m angry.
I’m so sorry, @leafy. When I am not doing well, my husband does the bare minimum to keep the house running. He will do a load of laundry when everyone runs out of clothes, do the dishes when the sink fills up, and make sure everyone eats. The problem is, he doesn’t always vacuum (and our dog sheds a ton), drops the mail on the coffee table until it is covered in junk, doesn’t fold the laundry but just throws it in a pile on top of the dryer to wrinkle, leaves everything out on the counters, and doesn’t wipe down anything (counters especially). He doesn’t take out the trash all the time but will put it in the 1/2 bathroom downstairs. He never trims the dog’s nails, even when my tremors get too bad for me to do it. He doesn’t change the guinea pigs’ cage for weeks, and it stinks up the whole house. The list goes on. He is wonderful, and I wouldn’t change him for the world. But I wish he would do more when I can’t.
That being said, I’d like to mention that he works 12 hour rotating shifts and is currently in school full-time in a Master’s program. So it’s not necessarily his fault either. Still sucks though.
I’m sorry H, I know it’s hard. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t like living with resentments. I am firmly against living with them actually, yet here I am with resentments anyway. I will work on letting them go. And I’m going to ask my family for more help, even though it would be nice if they could just see that I needed it and would help because they wanted to.
My stepdaughter is very good at stepping up to the plate when I lack motivation or skills to do something(for me those seem to be closely linked) . Things are much better than when I was hardly seeing anyone and living in ■■■■ . She also set it up that I get support from a care agency.
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