The part of me that fights against itself. The good wolf that fights the bad wolf. The light that fights the dark. The two parts that constantly rip me apart. The madwoman and the sensible woman.
I do deserve happiness and joy. It is not my fault that I was given a shitty hand. I did not cause my hallucinations or my depression. I did not mean to hurt people. None of it was done on purpose. I do not continue to hurt others on purpose. I have worked hard to make myself better and my hard work deserves reward. I am a kind compassionate human being who understands emotion more than others. As a human being I deserve the love and patience of others. I deserve peace. It’s okay for me to not suffer. It’s okay to not want nightmares. It’s okay to want peace. I deserve these things. Not because of the good things I’ve done but simply because I am a human and a person.
Maybe it’s just me but looking back at this part it feels poetic. I shall keep this passage for sure and put it in my journal.
That’s an interesting dichotomy.
It is very strange because in a real sense they are separate beings within me but they are also the same being as they are both me. So they are two different parts of the same being. It confuses me sometimes and that’s why I often get overwhelmed is because the two parts are constantly fighting and sometimes it feels like my head is going to split open.
Sounds like you’re a very interesting person.
Isn’t that multiple personalities or no?
No, not multiple personalities
Dualism is not good at all. Be one. Realize that in truth there is no separation, only a sense of separation. Make friends with your voices no matter how many times they lay a turd on you.
Very well said. Almost poetic. I feel the same fight, I think every human being does. There is an old native Legend about the black and white wolf. I’ve always loved that
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