The Newspapers In Heaven

Heaven is a nice suburb next to a warm beach and a high snow capped mountain range for lovers of both the beach and snow. People do have jobs which they always reach without crowded commutes, or traffic accidents where they do what they dreamed of doing on Earth. They get long paid vacations and always celebrate the appropriate religious holidays they want to. There are no slums in Heaven and the garbage is incinerated in the Sun. The food tastes good but doesn’t cause weight gain. Life is nice in Heaven. But sometimes people need to hear what is happening back on Earth. There are two newspapers which have websites accompanying them. One talks about all the positive things that happened on Earth like weddings, successful births, and happy moments. The other talks about the dark things like war, divorce, scandal, and misfortune. The latter is enjoying high readership. The former is folding next week.

Good post thanks. I learned there is no need for toilets in Heaven as food is ousted via sweating. I figured after a lifetime of servitude to the designer of life, it would prove beneficial to get to a place where things are better as some kind of reward.

People do jobs? And they get paid vacations? And the people are still slaves to their stomachs?
And it has garbage?

I have never heard anything so ridiculous yet funny at the same time.

You’re right ekoms. There is no need for toilets because people just sh*t directly onto the garbage dump and wipe their arses on the negative newspaper.

Best wishes,