We construct stories, partly fiction, partly facts, to why we ended up like we do.
We cannot stand, we are just drifting in the wind. We try to make a coherent story out of circumstances.
For no particular reason I’m happy today, tomorrow the sadness may return, and I don’t know why.
I’m no longer able to see myself as a character with motives and reasons to act.
I’m just drifting in the wind, without a future, without a history.
“The theory of narrative identity postulates that individuals form an identity by integrating their life experiences into an internalized, evolving story of the self that provides the individual with a sense of unity and purpose in life.This life narrative integrates one’s reconstructed past, perceived present, and imagined future. Furthermore, this narrative is a story – it has characters, episodes, imagery, a setting, plots, and themes and often follows the traditional model of a story, having a beginning (initiating event), middle (an attempt and a consequence), and an end (denouement).”
I have contsructed so many wild stories about myself over the years with schizo, I can’t believe how wild my imagination can be. It’s so weird but even now I do get
episodes with psychoses and then I return to my former way of thinking. It’s so weird how fast I can revert back to my false self
It is kinda weird how my emotions are more heighten when l am in the zone. I am more inspired and more emotional. I do miss that feeling when it goes away. My false self is maybe my truest essence then. But when l land l kind of see it as me tricking myself to feel that way, and all those thoughts l know is not true never truly goes away.