For me I think I’ve given up hope… I’ve lived most of my life on my own and I’m ok with it. But if you want a partner Anna then I think you should go for it… you’re very endearing did you know that?
Me too I am condemned in a way. Maybe I should avoid having kids… I am too sick… for the partner, it can be easier yeap 
But I see how the men outside doesn’t look at me anymore since I am fatter. before, they looked at me more. Now, Its a different story. But there is the thing also that I am in sufferance so its not nice for anybody I guess.
Anna I’ve seen pics of you younger you were super f****g sexy and attractive.
Ok now a little less so, so it’s harder to find a guy. I guess before men were fighting each other to talk to you.
Yeh maybe it’s a little harder now to find a guy, but you can if you want one.
1 Like
Do you know ‘black and white thinking?’’ My therapist mentioned it to me.
It’s like one thing or another, if I’m not a good guy I must be a terrible guy.
Or maybe ‘I’m not super f***** hot so I must be ugly’
1 Like
Hah, thanks. But I never enjoyed my life before the meds. I lacked attention from men even then. I was cold before in my behavior, but iwas realizing it and I was feeling like a freak.I think that I have this kind of thinking, yeap. The illness limited me. I limited myself maybe… But we can still do it even being uglier, no? Did you change very much on the meds? In my case, there is the sedentarity from the years, it marks too.
My ex liked me thinner I think, yes. so I guess it wasn’t serious…
Being somewhere inbetween, they grey areas, is hard to accept, yeah?
they are more than that for me… difficult to be seen even…
Sweetheart, people who really are ugly don’t talk about it. They are insecure about it, and don’t mention it to others as a stick to beat them.
You aren’t ugly you’re just not a beautiful as you were… am I terrible to say that?
Anna, if you can find some good meds, you might not even need the zyprexa which adds weight. I’m on zyprexa too and I hate my big belly, but it helps me.
You were very beautiful, but women lose their looks as they get older, I guess you will hate me for saying that 
1 Like
No, I wont hate you. I have to accept that I am older now. Its a part of the life. was I really beautiful to you and sexy? Its a pity that I wasn’t lived before too…
I put terrible photos here, always in my pyjama and I still don’t wear make up and all the other attributes so I don’t look fine on my photos here. But yes, I changed.
Idk if ill manage to stop the Zyprexa.
In the photos you posted when you were younger you were super hot yeh.
Yeh when people post photos on here they show themselves looking at their best, you show photos at your worst
You were very beautiful and yeh meds take some of that away… i’m fat too. But you’re still pretty.
Yes, I am often tired to make myself pretty for just one photo wow… Thanks for the compliment, at least I was hot
You were super hot Anna and you’re still good looking. Sorry if I didn’t say it clearly.
1 Like
People say I’m good looking but when I look in a mirror I just see a fat guy.
me before meds. On the left side. On the right side with the cigarette is my best friend, who is ill too 
. Actually, I am often jealous of her cause she dates a lot of guys when she is ok…
1 Like
You’re cute in that photo, prettier than your friend.
So start believe them too, no? hah
but I know, its normal for everybody to don’t like himself sometimes in front of the mirror…
1 Like
Yeh it’s hard to believe I used to be thin, until the zyprexa…
she hates Zyprexa too because of the gain weight. Me, I didn’t say anything when they put me on it. But I told you, I couldn’t escape the illness. maybe my dad was ill and mine is quite bad. My life would be different without it, but whatever. Maybe ive done something bad in my past life, you know… I think it sometimes…
1 Like
i don’t think the illness is anyone’s fault…
the weight gain from zyprexa is hard…
i guess we were not meant to have easy lives Anna?
its true. But its a common delusion too, no? to think that you have done something wrong in past lives? I heard it from other people too…