Somehow, the thought had escaped me. But now that the clock has been ticking for 78 years, I find it an unavoidable fact.
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I still have 42 years to go before I reach 78.
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I hope you make something of those years. They go by so fast.
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Visit 3 countires a year for 40 years. I could go around the world.
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I was supposed to be dead over thirteen years ago. I’m still going. Don’t know for how long, so there’s no time like the present to have some fun. Sudden death overtime – wheee!!!
Gonna have a fire and roast marshmallows tonight.
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I’m very happy to be alive. Believe me there has been times where I nearly died from my deep depression/delusions I had the hellocoper paramedics visit me once my outcome was do dire, this from self harm from delusions. I’m in a much better place now. I like living.
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right now i would have no care about dying
the pain i go threw each day truly has gotten deadly
i see blood and gore every where
i feel im only doing my mother harm by living
my dogs would be safe with her or a friend who will take them
im truly hopeless and deep in depression
im si but i will not act on it unless the voices get to strong
but then i will call my treatment team and 911
im sorry to bring people down
i talk to my pdoc today for over a half an hour in a 15min appointment
she raised my buspirone and vraylar
she is ok with me getting my tattoo even though im getting it for the pain and in place of cutting
hopefully it will brighten my thoughts till i get a hold on this depression
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@yoda123 I’m really sorry to hear about your difficulties.
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ty @bobbilly i go thursday for my tattoo
hopefully it will click something in my brain
and the increase in meds hopefully will help
Sorry about your situation. Have you tried anti-depressants?
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ty @Drake yes im on buspirone and vrayla
we upped them today
@yoda123 aww mate i hear you, i know that place well. Try to stay safe and sleep well tonight, talk to people and reach out. Your not alone at all i completely understand. If you want to chat about anything i’m still up for an hour x
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@anon85745701 ty
it helps knowing that others have been here
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Is buspirone used to treat depression? Online it says it’s used to treat anxiety. Has your pdoc ever said anything about trying an anti-depressant?
she said it is used for anxiety and depression at the same time
which i need cause my anxiety worsens my depression
and then vraylar is the same
Well, to me you seem like a really nice person on this forum so I don’t think anyone (IRL or online) would be happier if you harmed yourself. I don’t think you should think that way.
@Drake ty
its just so hard to see me live with out voices and visual hallucinations
thats why we increased the vraylar to help with them and the depression too
im just afraid i will given and hurt someone which would kill me
i see my pdoc again next week we will talk about the hospital again
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Im depressed anxious etc and probably paranoid a lot too. Hubby been irritating me all the time lately. I feel like i have no self esteem left. No energy to talk to him and everything he says seems sarcastic and hurts to talk anymore
I feel offended by him personally sensitive and im same with everyone and i hardly talk to anyone really
What bothers you @yoda123 let it out if anything is. I know it can be for no reason as well the depression and anxiety
Are you having scary thoughts
Just breathe hun, cry sometimes it helps
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@anon85745701
im just going threw a bad sz episode
i cant look at things cause of all the blood and gore
the voices telling me to kill and harm all around me
they tell me if i dont they will find someone to do it
i see the nsa showing me how to properly kill someone
even my dogs for god sake they say they would turn them on my mother
i cant take showers anymore cause the water turns to blood
im shaking right now while im telling you this
it hurts so bad
i havent told anyone how bad it is
even seeing things and reacting to them when nothing is there my mom gets mad that i pay attention to them
im so sorry i dont mean to be so down just a lot ya know
i think after my mom gets the ok from her doctors she doesnt have to go to the hospital i will
but if she goes in i have to wait till she gets out
i dont know how i will do
sorry again for laying that out
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