Somewhere along the line I said on this forum that small pleasures are what make life worth living - walking on the beach, going to the flea market on Sundays, drinking coffee with my husband, reading a book, watching my fish, etc. And it’s really helping. But then I get days that even those small pleasures don’t get me away from the overpowering gloom hanging like a dark thundercloud above my head. The future looks bleak and hostile, and no matter how many small pleasures I indulge in, the gloom remains. The small pleasures end so quickly, like for example, drinking a cup of coffee lifts me, but it ends too soon and then when the cup (or mug) is empty, the gloom returns. This is how I feel, life is so gloomy and dead. My husband tried to cheer me up with a long back scratch today - another small pleasure that lasts too little and ends too soon. The weight of gloom descends again, and now I am thinking ahead of my life, and can’t face it today, the future is too bleak. Nothing nothing nothing… nothing for me to live for, I am just living because God wants me to. I am barely coping, I just can’t cope well enough to live a decent life. My housework is tons behind, my husband has to remind me to clean the house. Left to myself, I would be a recluse in a dusty house with a starving husband.
Depression sucks big time!!!