The gap between how you are and how you're perceived

Can be great. 15 char

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It sure can. People are always mispercieving. Also people are so judgmental it clouds them I think.

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Truth is usually somewhere in the middle. External feedback can be useful but it should not replace introspection and self reflection. Also, communication (both verbal and non verbal) is very important. People can’t be convinced of the truth in your words unless you know how to be persuasive…

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For many years, people would tell me that I was “doing so good”. And I was doing just terrible. Very, very paranoid, delusional and miserable. Even my pdocs and nurses would tell me how “good” I was doing. I began to doubt myself. “Am I doing good?”, I asked myself. I thought I was miserable with psychosis. Now that I really am doing good, nobody tells me how “good” I am doing. Everybody asks me about my mood and about voices. How can people be so wrong and so off the mark?

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Oh boy that gap is huge everyone thinks I’m mean and angry and standoffish and surly. But I’m really not I just suck at explaining myself

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I have a favorable self-image, and I can hardly believe sometimes that I have this disease of schizophrenia. Then I find I wonder why there are everyday people I interact with who see me so negatively. They snub me in various ways. Then I ask if I am being too sensitive. Am I too quiet? Am I rejecting? Am I paranoid?
Why don’t people say “Good morning” to me? Why can’t anyone ever (for 12 years) talk to me at work? Why can’t they understand me and like me in spite of my deficiencies?
I find a big gap.

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If you were rich, this would be different.

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I’m just misunderstood.mostly by looks and illness.

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The gap between how I am, how I act, and how I am perceived is far greater.

I’m cute, sexy, amazing and smart but people perceive me as annoying and stupid. People are wrong though. I don’t let it bother me.

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You could probably fucke them up

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Yes, it can. After she learned that I had schizoaffective disorder, I had a PCP who acted like I was going to hurt her. I’m not dangerous to other people; mostly, I’m just scared.

I find myself constantly worrying about what others think. I’m very self-conscious. I don’t have any friends, and I don’t know how to make any. I don’t know if I don’t encourage friendships or if people just don’t like me.

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This is so true for me . I wonder though whether it’s a mental illness/psychosis/schizophrenia thing . I have always not known how to make friends and had very few friends over 60 years.
That contrasts with a lot of people here who have friends or who had a good amount of friends only to lose them as the illness developed.

I wonder how many others here have never known how to make friends ,or know but their illness serves as a barrier to making and sustaining friendships.

Willy nilly, you’ve made a friend here @firemonkey. That would be me :blush:
Now, how do you plan on keeping me around? :wink:

I’e brought a glass cage. I actually meant friends IRL as opposed to internet ‘friends’.

LOL. No thanks, my family kept me in one till I was 18. They used to spoil me to no end, and protected me from dealing with real life problems.

Well, even if you see me as just an internet ‘friend’. please know that I’ve grown quite attached to you, I always keep an eye on what you write here. I am very conscious of your struggles but feel powerless. I would help you more if I could.

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I like you too. The whole thing of acquaintances vs friends gets blurred for me with the medium of the internet . Where does one draw the line ? How many facebook friends are friends in any real sense as opposed to acquaintances you get on quite well/well with ?

That’s not to diminish the fact you’ve been very good to me. I’ m not sure if we would have been friends IRL if we lived near each other. I hasten to add that is more a reflection on me than on you. The internet can hide a multitude of flaws especially in relation to the non verbal communication needed to facilitate the formation of friendships. In that sense I don’t think I present myself very well.

story of my life there.

Sometimes i wonder if they can see i am not doing well but say i am for encouragement? Other times i think, that they are thinking: “I care, kind of, but if i acknowledge she isnt doing well, then she might want to talk about it. And i dont want to talk about it with her, at least not now.”

When doing well, i guess there is no reason to say anything? because my state doing good is everyone elses state of normal?

I understand your doubts about being able to become friends in real life. To be honest, all my current real life friends are in their 20s or 30s. On Facebook things are different indeed, ages range from teens to 70s, but we rarely meet in person, if ever.

What is it about your non-verbal skills that you find unappealing?

If I had to specify I couldn’t say. I just know,from what I read,that non-verbal communication is an important factor in forming relationships. I piece that together with the fact I’ve always struggled on a social level and voila 2+2=4.