The fragility of coping

My ability to cope with independent living is very fragile indeed. So long as things stay as they are I can cope in my limited/restricted way. This is because the things that make it possible for me to cope independently were set up by my late wife years ago . I am now faced with the very real possibility of change that is going to seriously challenge/undermine my ability to continue living independently.
That change being having to set up in a new place . Due to comorbid issues, especially when it comes to the practicalities of daily living, I am ill equipped to cope with any such move.
The truth is I will need massive amounts of support not to go under if any such a move has to take place. The trouble being those difficulties and the fragility of my coping are only very partially recognised.

I now am obsessively worrying throughout the day from getting up to going to bed. I am scared of dying but it has even crossed my mind that suicide might be an option. The alternative is the possibility of group/supported accommodation . With a group home I sense I would be seen on psychiatric symptoms alone as too well to qualify.

This is a time when I especially wish my comorbid issues had been better recognised .

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I live a life of routine too, and also I get quite worried if something looks like it’s going to upset that routine. It’s like a fear of the unknown with a bit of catastrophic thinking thrown in.

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My major worries are the organisational logistics of any such move as in transfer of bank,utility, internet,dwp details etc and the practical implications of such a move ie arranging for stuff to be moved, arranging furniture in new place, setting up bed, installing cooker and washing machine etc. I think you get the picture. My organisational and practical skills are very limited. When I moved here 20 years ago my wife arranged everything and I just went with the flow,secure in the knowledge that she knew what she was doing.
A major problem is that I have no family near to help.

It doesn’t help that the mental health team don’t know the extent of my difficulties and are very much focused on textbook diagnostic symptoms. They have in the past said I have limited ability to live independently in the community but are far from knowing to what extent that is true.

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I would suggest you go through with the move, if it is something you think you have to do. It would make you feel so much better-a real feather in your cap. You CAN do it. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. The system isn’t THAT blind to your problems. “Fear is a belief in danger.” “Do what you hate and fear to do and you will put a death in the belief of danger.” After 23 years of living in New Jersey and after having run through my family fortune, I moved in with my stepfather in Maryland last year.

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A social worker can probably give you advise on how to get help to move. If you have enough money you can get movers in to help.

Firemonkey, a lot of that stuff you can do online nowadays - or on the phone: utilities, etc. If you have internet banking and a cash card, you don’t need to move your branch at all. Or you can leave it for months. You are really excellent at internet stuff. If anyone can deal with those bits, you can,

On the actual moving, yes, packing etc is really hard work, but you may be able to get assistance with that. Ask your psych nurse for a temporary support worker or voluntary helper. Ask for help.

@firemonkey can you get in touch with a social worker? I’m sure they will help you out in everything. You can ask your doc to arrange a consultation

I know there is help out out there but (a) due to past experiences I am wary of asking for it (b) because I manage to just about cope in a limited way that is taken as a sign that I don’t need much help anyway.

You show yourself as a but knocker. You should accept some of this quite good advice from your fellow sufferers. If you really ARE serious about moving, you’ll just have to bite the bullet. At this point, you’re only going to get a limited amount of sympathy from this group.