The dead are watching me

I posted this on another forum and was asked whether it was comforting or not

I wouldn’t say comforting. I guess I’m ambivalent about the existence of god and heaven . Most of the time I don’t believe but there’s a part of that lapses into accepting the possibility, and that the dead family members and people I knew are sitting in critical judgement on me weighing up whether I should be punished.
If it’s a delusion then it’s certainly not something that’s constant but comes and goes, but then neither were my weird sexual thoughts or the occasional entertaining of the possibility that inanimate objects were going to start talking to me.

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My grandmother and grandfather comment on things that I am doing… It’s a little stressing. I argue with my grandmother. She always has something to say about the way I am doing something and it grates on my nerves.

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I never thought the dead were watching me… but the living…

I used to think my parents could see me through pictures of themselves.

In fact I figured a picture of someone holds a bit of them and they can sense what you do through the picture.

Having pictures of my family up… when I was acting out… I felt… they knew because they could see me through the picture. Sadly… I’ve destroyed a lot of pics of my family.

My husband asks frequently why I have pictures up of distant relatives and none of us… He never understands when I tell him I can’t stand to have him watching me.

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