RWhat has been the course of this illness for you so far?
For me it’s been:
Drugs->Mania/Psychosis->Life falling apart->Hospitalized->Meds->Recovery->Trying to stop meds->Brain damage or something from trying to stop meds->Back on meds, recovery again->Studying, working part time->Quit because of pain from brain damage->Trying to heal brain damage->Present day…
Guess that’s a little complex but that’s how it played out for me
Stopping meds did not result in brain damage. The disease damages the brain regardless. And the meds also have their impact on the brain.
I havent stopped my meds and i am cognitively way down from where i used to be.
It wasn’t exactly brain damage I don’t know what it was, but after that month of quiting meds I started to feel intense pain in my body mostly when people spoke to me… It was the weirdest thing, like everyone was trying to insult me all the time… Can’t explain it more than that but it was/is the worst thing I can imagine…!
Were u delusional? I cant really talk to ppl anymore. Since coming down with sz having conversations is challenging.
I guess I was delusional, but before this month I was happy being delusional, after this month I was miserable…
Yea it’s challanging for me too… I try my best since I really like people and talking to people… I just wish they would stop
Insulting me eh lol
A bunch has happened in 11 years:
- Psychosis for about 2 months
- Quit job
- Drove confused
- Arrested and put in holding cell.
- Diagnosed paranoid schizophenic. Put on 6mg Invega.
- Stabilized. Told that by psychiatrist I should stay stable for a year before coming off meds.
- Got small job.
- Please bargain for driving incident. 2 years probation. Driving only to and from work.
- Vocational rehabilitation.
- Got full time regular job.
- Told by psychiatrist I should be stable while working full time for another year before coming off meds.
- Weaned off meds by psychiatrist.
- Became slightly psychotic, but managed to keep working the same job.
- Got back on meds.
- Got another job physically somewhat distant from support network. More technically advanced.
- After 2 years, quit more advanced job for lower paying job closer to support network. Made less money, so psychiatrist switched me to 1 mg of Haldol.
- First quit, came back, then fired from that job. They accused me of uttering a swear word once.
- Got a technical job far away from support network again, trying to maintain technical career.
- Psychiatrist took me off of antipsychotics entirely, because I had been functioning on 1 mg of Haldol for about 2 years.
- Became a little psychotic, told my boss off, and quit another good job.
- Back on 1 mg of Haldol.
- Worked low level jobs closer to support network.
- Started having problems swallowing food, apparently due to Haldol induced parkinsonism. Couldn’t eat quickly enough, so couldn’t reasonably work much.
- Taken off antipsychotics entirely again by psychiatrist for 4 months so I could swallow my food. Became a little psychotic.
- Swallowing problem improved. Back on 1mg Haldol. Swallow pretty well now.
- Worked at 2 more places since then, but I’ve been at the same full time employer for almost a year now.
With commute, I think I’m working about 70 hours a week, but after I’ve complained a bit, they seem to be easing back the overtime a little.
Have you seen comparisons of mri’s of brainwaves?
Wow that sure is a lot
You sure are a tough guy going through all that I wish u all the best and best of luck!
Could you please explain what happened to you when you went off meds?? What do u mean by slightly psychotic? I’m asking cuz I’m thinking of going off meds too soon…
No, I haven’t… I call it “brain damage” though no one really knows what it is/was its just the only name I can find for it
My psychosis isn’t the hearing voices kind of psychosis. My psychosis is the bizarre delusion type of psychosis. I still don’t tend to depart from social norms in physical actions, so I don’t become violent or anything like that.
For instance, when I first came off of antipsychotics, I thought that co-workers were implanting terrifying thoughts in my brain, as I recall. I basically just tried to ignore it, but I was distracted by the thoughts and it seemed that I couldn’t focus well enough to do my job well.
When I was taken off of the 1 mg of Haldol by my psychiatrist after functioning well for a couple of years, I had started developing other bizarre delusions. I thought my boss was a Jinn, for instance.
Delusions can inteterfere with functioning of course, even if a person isn’t psychotic enough to hear voices, get violent, hide in a room, etc. I guess that’s why I said slightly psychotic.
That’s awesome you can work 70 hour work weeks!!!
It shows risperdal brains look normal. Cannabis braians look normal. My rehab course had diagrams.
Yea my psychosis was never hearing voices or hallucinating or anything, just feeling really good about myself, perhaps too good about myself…
I hope if I come off meds I will be fine
Yea I guess that’s what u call it in medical terms
Isnt that more like Bipolar not sz type symptom?
Birth…chilhood abuse…starvation…abusive relationships…working till burnout…living on the street…ending up in mental hospital…finding a place to live…getting a job…mentally getting better
I did not have a typical attitude and lifestyle of a 16-year-old during my teenage years.
Started having symptoms around 17, hit me hard when I was 21. Recovered from delusions at 22 but was ‘not myself’ till about 25. The second relapse pushed me above the ground, I started pursuing my passions while on heavy meds. Mediocre health lost my job twice, relationship and health problems, a medium strength relapse in 2016. Recovered in 2017, been stable since. Not 100% it’s always about keeping myself healthy.
I quit meds in 2011 for about 11 days. Ended up in hospital for a couple weeks. In 2009 got diagnosed. Ended up in there 6 times in 7 years