Schizophrenia.com

The big Blue-J

I chickened out of going to my Sz group last night. I was really trying to get verbally prepared and get ready to take the hard bragging and narcissistic demigod on and just make him go away.

I was also trying to figure out how to make one of my brothers stop telling me how he’s so much better then me in every way. I was feeling very damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.

But as I was getting ready to go, my limbs were just getting heavier and I was having a hard time moving and it was just getting to hard to go.

I go to group in a pretty good mood looking for ideas. I don’t go there looking for conflict or a verbal fight. This was draining me faster then I would have guessed so I went to bed.

I can’t even tell a 19 year old kid to back off and leave us alone. I wish I was more aggressive sometimes. I just don’t have it in me. When I was homeless I would get beat up a lot. The way I got out of a lot of conflict is just let myself act as out of control as possible. Then people would be afraid of me. No one is afraid of me anymore.

The thing is, my sis probably thinks I’m a weakling if I can’t even protect her or even stand up for myself against some bragging narcissist. It’s going to be a hard slow day for me. In a few hours I might put on some pants.

It’s adventure sunday too. I usually look forward to that. But I might not be up for it today.

I’m a bit of a blue-J.

Good morning James - sorry you are feeling blue today.

I don’t know if this would work for you, but sometimes when I had a situation going on with someone I didn’t want to tangle with, I just pulled away. Maybe if you could get sis on board the both of you could just block him from your lives as much as you can; not answering the door when he comes over, not letting him engage you in conversation, blocking him from any means of communication you have going on, basically just ignoring him. That way there would be no confrontation that could go south. I think even the stupidest person would eventually get the hint, idk.

Just a suggestion, but I hope you get to feeling better and are able to get out and enjoy your day. :relaxed:

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Ever watch a Blue jay? They aren’t afraid of anyone around my mom"'s house. They will fly down and come up next to you to pick up that nut on the ground. They are very quiet, but persistent in getting what they want.
When all else fails, they squak like the devil and try to peck your head.
I love how they rat someone out, like when our nosy neighbor is up agains our fence peeking and craning his neck to see what’s going on in our house. A couple of blue jays start bombing him squaking loudly back and forth alerting us of an enemy. It’s really cool.
Even blue jay’s can have fun.

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I would have to disagree. There is nothing weak about avoiding an unnecessary conflict/argument. In all honesty would either one of them take the time to listen to your point of view right now? I doubt it. They will probably just argue back and justify their behavior as best then can.

It’s ok to have blue days. I hope your day gets better.

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Sorry to do this, I know we promised.

"Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear”- Dali Lama

You don’t have to get into a needless conflict, in a no win situation, with an angry and resentful person to prove your strong. Your one of the strongest people I know.

“There are more times when wisdom conquers strength”- Lao Tzu

Thank you for letting me post.

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i think sometimes you just have to let things play out, if he wants to talk about himself people will see that and they will know what he is like so you are probably not alone with this,

i have to admit i am a bit of a hard hitting talker but i never cross that line,

they say the pen is mightier than the sword but i say the tongue can be even sharper, so use your wit and be smart about this, dont let it take over and drag you down, you are strong and your sister knows it so you have nothing to prove.

anyway i hope you had a good day, lots of people have been feeling down i think because its Easter and here i am trying to make it good lol :frowning: ‘oh well’ if you cant be a saint be a sinner as they say lol

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a peaceful man walks among the gods.
take care

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