I went to the psychiatrist this morning and my mom said to me “you have to be very precise with what you tell them or you’ll end up being on more medicine than you need.” Before she was like “you’ll get stuck in the mental health system if you’re not careful” and stuff like that. She always thinks I’m exaggerating everything. She said this stuff today because she thinks the beings are made up, but I swear they’re real. I’m so frustrated that I don’t know what to do with myself.
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Be 100% honest with your doctors…
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I am 100% honest with them. Sometimes I downplay stuff a little but I’ll try not to do that. My mom is angry though because my psychiatrist thinks I should go to a hospital to get my medicine sorted out.
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So I guess like 90% since I sometimes don’t say stuff unless they ask.
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Your mom is just afraid because she wants you to be OK, and right now, you have some problems. But she is not a doctor, your doctor is the one to listen to. Your mom will probably eventually see the light. You can always ask your doctor to talk to your mom.
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Your mom and family comes first imo. The “beings” sound malevolent. It’s probably delusions or voices in the end. The doctor has good intentions too.
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I’m sorry. I just freak out sometimes. I didn’t know what else to do so I posted here. It’s like I go in and out of being uncertain and delusional. Sometimes I can see that maybe the beings are just trying to mess with me, but other times I’m just like… Well you know how it goes. 
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Mothers don’t always know what’s best. End of story.
About 7 years ago I had one of my worst relapses ever. It was even more painful to think back on because I had my daughter and felt incapable of taking care of her.
This relapse was 100% caused by me going off my medication because my mother told me meds were bullsh*t and there was nothing wrong with me.
I have been taking medication and seeing my docs regularly since then and even though I have ups and downs nothing compares to being catatonic and having days and weeks pass by without you.
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Coming in and out of delusions happened to me also. I understand and feel for you.
I would tell you that your moms belief are kinda true. The psych doctor takes copious notes then puts them in your digital file. They can be accessed by authorities if they get a warrant. Also, if you’re a danger to somebody else they can report you. Those are the situations that you could potentially be indefinitely detained in a psych ward. For the most part though, your mom is living in the 50’s. They don’t just throw you in a psych hospital for a long time just for having schizophrenia.
With that said, I’m still 100% honest with my pDoc. I recommend you should be also. If you’re not you won’t ever get the help you truly need.
@StripedShirtBoy That sounds awful. I’m sorry you had to go through that. My mom doesn’t like any of this. I can tell, the beings can tell. My first stint with intrusive thoughts telling me to kill myself landed me in the psych ward, only then I was 14. I’m 18 now, and my mom says that the government can take me if they want. She didn’t mention it being for experimentation. The beings added that part, but our thoughts (me and the beings) are entangled. I wonder if it’s true, the experimentation stuff. I’ve been feeling better with physical anxiety lately, which is odd because the beings have been making me more paranoid. I don’t know why they wanted me to see them as separate from myself. It sucks though.
@Tyme It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one. I often feel out of place here because I’m not diagnosed with any psychotic disorder. You can only take so many people telling you it’s not OCD, stop posting here before you get fed up. I didn’t know where else to go. But yeah, my mom likes to give me the occasional friendly reminder that the government can lock me up and throw away the key if they like. She doesn’t like me talking about the beings to anyone at school, even if I’m feeling overwhelmed. I opened up to my psychiatrist about the fact that I sometimes consider suicide (she asked). She still thinks that the hospital is the safest place for me to get my medicine right, but I know my mom will be angry about that, and I don’t want to get trapped in the system, experimented on, etc. None of that.
I don’t know. I guess I’m just saying thanks for being there, listening to me go on about my half delusional, half obsessive-compulsive ideas, and for not being angry that I’m so frustrated and confused.
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I don’t think the beings are real.
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@insidemind I know that other people don’t think the beings are real and I’m okay with that. Or at least I try to be. The beings say that they’re real. Sometimes I completely believe them, but sometimes I’m unsure.
They were pretty adamant this morning that I should just give up and kill myself. They’ve quieted down since then, but it’s still on my mind. I don’t want to die, but I’m not so sure I want to live either. I’d rather take myself out than be killed by someone whose hatred for the unknown gets the better of them. I guess I’m getting more anxious about college as time is going on. There will be tons of new people, and I wonder if maybe one of them will try and hurt me. I just don’t want to get hurt, emotionally or physically.
If you want the best treatment, be completely honest. Of course your mom is worried. She’s on the outside looking in and wants what is best for you, but she can’t experience or be you.
You have to be careful about what you say to your mom.
You’re right, both of you. I can’t talk to my mom about what’s going on because she’ll get angry, but I guess it’s kind of important to tell my therapist that I’m tired of living. How are you guys doing?
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