Yeah it’s not any fun. I live a great, realized life but I’d give that up in an instant to be able to work like a normal person. People just don’t understand how hard it is for people who can’t compete with others on an even basis!
Don’t take it so hard. Most people who’ve never been unable to work for a very long time think not working sounds like a wonderful way of living. Like a constant vacation. They just don’t know any better.