Terrible failed relationship

I just recently got out of my first relationship, and it’s been one of the most gut wrenching things I’ve ever had to go through. The guy tricked me into thinking he loved me so I would give him a blow job. I hate his guts. The problem is, I can’t stop obsessing over him. He’s all I can think about. He was a complete narcissistic jerk (and pretty ugly tbh) but I still fell head over heels for him. It honestly hurts so much. I feel so disgusting and unlovable. The relationship caused me to starve myself and temporarily stop taking meds; he was so emotionally abusive, I just really wanted to hurt myself. I’m only 15, and I’m afraid that all guys will be somewhat like this. I never want to fall in love again. Will it always hurt so much??? Sorry for the rant, it just hurts really bad rn

Oh honey, you are worth so much more than this. It hurts, ending a relationship almost always hurts especially when the person abused you.

There are lots of good guys out there. The trick is to learn to love yourself first. Hold tight to YOU and love everything about yourself before worrying about a guy. Because then you will know if a guy is really good for you or not.

I know it hurts now, but it does hurt less after a time.

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I know it hurts. I know you still love him. I know you feel unlovable. But all that is going to pass. And it wasn’t all for nothing either. You learned something very valuable, you learned what you don’t want. You learned that there are bad people out there that will use you for bjs. You learned that you can have feelings for someone even if they don’t have feelings for you. And hopefully you learned that no matter what else is going on you still need to take care of yourself because no one else is going to do it and in your case that means taking your meds no matter what. The bad feelings will pass but the lessons are forever if you actually learn from them and don’t make the same mistakes over again. And whatever you do, DO NOT give him another chance.

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I am sorry you broke up but it was for the best…you yourself said he was a narcissist. that’s all I needed to know to know you are better off…plus…you are so young you will meet good men down the road…you are very loveable.

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