I don’t even know what to say or how to even explain it. I feel extremely depressed and my face is finally not red and burning up. I have felt completely stupid all day. My therapy group has a new member. And he is the embodiment of every single one of my triggers. And I can’t even explain it because you guys haven’t met him! He was poking around in my brain and talking at me about my thoughts and experiences. It sounds weird and paranoid but that’s the only way I can describe it. The whole time I was around him I felt extremely depressed and that my self esteem was so low it went underground. We had art therapy today and we share what we did and get feedback from the therapist and other members. Two people went ahead of me and this guy couldn’t shut up about how what he saw, what it made him think, and what he liked about them and when it came to me he looked at it once and started babbling on about some completely different topic as if I didn’t exist. Then the therapist guided conversation back at my painting. I don’t need someone to say hey good job thats great. Its just when someone who has been completely tuned in to the situation and extremely talkative makes it a point to ignore me and lead others to do the same really was pretty lame. Especially when I didn’t want to share originally because he was there but my friend looked at me and nudged me so then I did. It felt like a weird setup to a depressing scene from a movie about a loser that everyone laughs at because horrible things are constantly happening to them.
It seemed like he knew what my insecurities were and pushed the button over and over.
I feel like poop right now, I used to be around ‘that type of people’ a lot until I couldn’t handle it anymore and isolated. In the last little bit I thought ‘Finally! I got all those people out of my life!’ And then boom this guy pops up like a hemorrhoid. I know he is not trying to do anything bad to me or wrong or evil etc. He is operating on a higher level of consciousness than I am and as a result, i feel dumb and insignificant. Like all of my words spoken and written are pointless. Reminds me of when I was around those type of people and needed to text someone, borrowed a phone, and saw a conversation between my ‘friends’ asking what’s going on, oh I’m just hanging out with her she keeps saying stupid stuff.
So, there is a bunch of vomited up emotions and etc I don’t know what you want to do with it.
you are not dumb or insignificant you are worthy of happiness, love, success, everything good in life.
people sometimes turn up in our lives when we don’t really want them to, they push our buttons, they make us feel difficult.
you said he is new, maybe he talked a lot because he felt nervous, he felt insignificant himself, maybe he was intimidated by you, maybe he really liked you…
don’t right him off completely he could be a nice person…!
i am sorry you had a bad day, we all have those…i hope tomorrow is better for you.
don’t stop going to the therapy group because of him, he may not be there next time…
know that some one cares.
take care
OMG I feel for you. I have just felt horrible vibes all over the place lately for no reason at all. People have been more rude it’s like chaotic energy and cold, rainy, miserable weather. People are just trying to blame someone for their bad moods. Don’t feel bad.
First off… if I’m nervous… I get like this. If I was in a new group of people, I make an ass of myself right off by doing stuff like this. I don’t mean to. It’s just the more nervous I get, the wheel in my head spins faster. I’m sorry to say, but if I met you in a large group like this and I was new… I’d be this guy. As much as I would hate myself, I would accidently be this stupid guy.
Second, there are people who set me off too. I’ve met some people who just somehow really freak me out. They have never done anything but something about how they are, what the do, the way they talk and what they talk about, I have to get away from them.
Even the kid sis will sometime cringe when leaving a room and she’ll tell me she just didn’t like the vibes of someone.
Thanks for responding, I am glad to know you’ve had these experiences on both sides! I guess I have a hard time because when I get nervous I clam up and get really quiet. Next week ill try and say hello maybe that’ll help him feel better.
dont let him stop you going to group ignore him if u can i had trhe same thing we ad a girl come in and i just couldnt stand her sometimes you meet people like this you know youwill never get on with but be civil and polite but dont let them stop ur progress.,