Yesterday I was in support group. I was talking to another woman all evening. At the end of the meeting she told me she had been suicidal and was going to kill her and her children. She was very close to doing that. That made me think. I was going to kill myself only. Not my husband or children. But when I was in that state I did not see anything else but me and the demons telling me to kill myself. This woman said of course you have to kill your children too because they can’t live with the pain you have caused them by killing yourself only.
I don’t know what I want with this post. Maybe get reflections of how you have been thinking or not thinking.
I’m not convinced about her statement. My children have the right to live their own life. With or without me. I’m not suicidal now but you never know when you’re hit by a truck or something and die.
Did this woman feel this way now or in the past? If she feels this way now than letting someone know that her and her children may be in danger might not be a bad idea.
This was 5 years ago. She was in crisis because of a difficult divorce and got a depression. She is ok now. Her kids stay with the dad and comes to visit her every week.
there was a point in my life where I had no hope for the future and of ever having someone love me again so I attempted to take my life. I ended up in the hospital with an overdose and was institutionalized for a brief period and had to appear before a judge so that they didn’t keep me in the asylum. I lied and said I had hope and they let me go home and I stayed suicidal for the next year until the next time I was going to end it again. I won’t say how I planned to die but it was a violent death I planned. I played with the attempt for a long time trying to raise the nerve and decided that God had a plan for me to continue to live. I don’t know how people get by in life that don’t believe in God. I know I couldn’t do it alone. anyways, I carry a lot of damage as surprised said …shame and guillt. I cry when I’m happy because I remember if I had been successful at my attempts I would never had been happy or known I’d be happy again.
i’ve tried to leave a few times, but it’s never crossed my mind to take anyone with me. i don’t want anyone trying to stop me and yet i’ve been thwarted, despite my best efforts. it seems like anything involving others is to be avoided as that would just complicate the matter and make thwarting all the more likely.
on some level i can see why she’d not want to cause her children pain, but i do think it’s for the best they’re with their father if she’s one to act on her thoughts. i mean, a lot of people think a lot of dark ■■■■…it’s what action you’re taking that’s the problem.
As a teen, I made suicidal gestures. Mostly attention-seeking honestly. Then one day my father and I had it out, and I wanted to kill myself to get back at him. I overdosed on barbiturates. The neighbor found me walking in their garden in my boxers. They called 911 and I was rushed to the hospital. I got my stomach pumped then had activated charcoal administered. I puked all over the ER floor. I was intubated. I woke to a nurse from the local hospital standing over me and my throat hurt. She explained what happened, as I didn’t remember anything after swallowing the barbiturates. She told me I stopped breathing and was on a machine. That’s why my throat hurt. I asked her “Well, I guess it’s off to the hospital huh?” She said yes, and that they were hoping I’d go voluntarily…I did. My dad was nowhere to be found. The police interviewed him, and he said he was disappointed I failed at my attempt! That was the end of my relationship with my father. I was 17. Never attempted suicide after that. I figured there was too much luck on my side than to stand on the precipice again. 18 months later my dad was dead from a self-inflicted gunshot to the head. Suicide is a demon which haunts my family.
The only thing that makes me sicker these days is to think of hurting someone else.
I’m glad she’s more content now and that they’re all safe.
I also never thought of taking anyone with me, I thought my suffering was m own and would remain that way. What stopped me from attempting was my mum telling me she’d follow. I couldn’t bear the thought of doing that so vowed to stop. I still hav my final plan if the time comes, but I have to make such a journey to get to that point, I’d have time to come to my senses or stop and turn back.
I get guilt flashbacks to people’s reactions that I did not see, I see them now and it hurts. It still doesn’t stop me feeling suicidal but it might stop me from acting.
I’m sorry that happened @alien99 I’ve cut contact with my father too. Now he’s got diabetes and RA and stuff. He’s had a stroke too. He was always mean to us kids. Sometimes I guess he got what he deserved.
I have suffered depression for so long, and have overdosed on numerous occasions, and have come out of a coma after being on life support. The last time I did that, it was not deprescion that pushed me to that point, but voices. When I came out of a 2 week long coma , I woke to have my daughter at my side. It was then that I realized how selfish of a person I am, and how much pain I am putting her through. I never over dosed again, but I did do other things that I am ashamed of at the command of voices.
I have never, nor would I ever consider taking the life of another human being.
I’ve thought of suicide in the past. Probably too not seriously, but thought about it–yes. The best reason I found to not suicide was that “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” I decided to give myself 10 years to try my best at life and see what happens. And, wow, life sure changes (not even close to 10 years yet).