My problem is I tend to spend more than I can afford. I have to watch it. I’m glad your stepdad spoke up for you.
I think my mother thought she could force her way into being my guardian and my SSI check would be part of her retirement plan.
Anything like that being totally illegal or at least clearly unethical, the last time I got hospitalized they actually had her get fake papers for it and she eventually gave up.
Which all sounds totally insane but really happened.
She just kept repeating how sick I am and that I need a guardian (her).
I guess it was good for me that my psychiatric care provider was my Rep. Payee. I really didn’t like how my sister was managing my mom’s money.
That’s my mother in a nutshell. She acted dramatic and upset and kept saying I was out of control when I exercised superhuman self control.
Even though I really do have mental health issues, which are largely a result of abuse, I think I’m a victim of munchausen syndrome by proxy.
Google has a lot of information. It’s basically a government mind control trauma inducing program. I went sort of schizophrenic. I know something like that happened but it seems really bad what I went through. I have theories. I really cannot write a cohesive story or anything. It involves time travel, aliens, psychics, mind control, trauma, and reincarnation.
I tried getting money or help but I realized money is the last thing I want and help isn’t there. I shouldn’t be trying to get help really.
People say it stopped in the 60s or 70s or something but I think it still goes on but is way more secretive, advanced, and way more dark and evil and traumatizing. It’s been an eternity and years trying to figure it all out.
That’s interesting stuff.
In my case I have hallucinations and delusions when I’m off meds or the dose isn’t high enough. The last time I was unmedicated, I was violent and committed domestic violence. I didn’t hit or shoot anyone. I just threatened to burn the house down and vandalized my mom’s car. I mainly was extremely angry for what I thought someone was doing to me. Wiring the house with cameras and microphones and monitoring me.
I’m fine with my meds. As far as I’m concerned they are a hair away from being the best they’ve ever been.
This is an ongoing thing, has been going on for several days now.
The voices are repeating and singing all day long “We enjoy torturing you”
The voices themselves sound unpleasant, and the torture with unpleasant and unbearable feelings has gone worse. Sadistic talk about how they like torturing me, told me if they’ve tortured me enough they will have mercy on me and kill me (by controlling my body)
“We like torturing you, it’s a pleasure, it’s a pleasure, we enjoy it. We know we are sadists, why do you let us torture you, you want it, you want it, why do you enjoy being tortured?”
Putting very bad feelings in my body and mind at the same time. They put a sick grin on my face (by controlling my body) when they said they enjoy torturing me.
"We will torture you until you start to weep again. We will torture until you understand, that life is not worth living and you will kill yourself. We will torture you to death
Have you talked to a therapist/pdoc about your voices?
During last hospitalization (a few weeks ago) they doubled my dose of quetiapine (from 400 to 800), but it’s not doing anything because my schizophrenia is treatment resistant.
I’m sorry to hear that Rei26. I hope they can find something that works. Best of luck.
I really appreciate all the support you have provided.
I have a very strange story. No sexual type abuse until after I was diagnosed. I’ve practically been celibate since 1983. I got involved with someone 3 years ago, for 2 months. He or someone started claiming it was prostitution. He never talked about that with me, only marriage. Now all these nutcases are determined that is my new path. I’m on the celibacy path again and they can go to hell.
I’ve been celibate since 2005. I hard not letting what people think get to you. Thanks for sharing your story.
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