So i let my fears and thinking delusional put me into a trance of wanting to do some unthinkable stuff but i havent and will not. Thanks for the support of people on this forum and letting me express my thoughts to let off some steam.
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Sometimes all we really need is to be heard and understood.
I like to take a load off studying and watch a movie like I did tonight. I also like to watch an episode of a show on my phone in bed like I am about to
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I like the bird in your avatar.
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It’s alright man! It’s what we’re here for. 
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I appreciate youre here too.
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