'Takes two to tango' - Some wise human said one day

Lounge
1

First off I am sorry to those here who have tried to strike up conversation

The reason I say sorry is because in my life - first friends and now family, have never initiated the contact

Took me a while to realise that I was the one making all of the contact.

In 2013, my best friend I decided perhaps did not like me. I thought I am the only one making the contact, and I felt strongly to myself that maybe I was imposing my presence on this person.

So I stopped calling. It has been 10 years now. The first few months I was pretty upset about it - but now I am over it.

However, now my family (Except parents) is going the same way. Once again I thought I am the one putting in all the work for very little.

It has been since my Nan’s funeral in January that I last saw my aunts, cousins and even step-sister and her family.

Guess my point is that I have had to learn to not be the imposition on other peoples lives.

This is why now I am probably well out of practise at keeping contact with others…

Been burned many times by the people that should be putting effort in as well as I used to

Now I will move on from these family members - like I did with friends 10 years ago

4 Likes
2

I agree. It can’t be all one sided.

But I have a friend who never takes initiative because she has so much stuff to do with 2 kids (single mom) and a job.

But she is always happy when I take initiative to meet up.

I understand her situation and keep putting in the effort.

So, I don’t mind that it is always me having to take the initiative.

1 Like
3

I keep trying…I have a lot more time on my hands than my family and friends and sometimes they just can’t respond…I understand that but it took a while to accept…I hope you don’t give up trying to contact them.

1 Like
4

I ended up leaving my friends of 7 years over a text message, the same wasn’t reciprocated so I gave up. Crazy right, my family never gave up on me, but I can’t treat other people the same way, don’t know why, guess my childhood was perfect.

The friends before, high school friends gave up on me when they found out I have depression, going back to 2009 I lied when I really had sz. Pretty crazy right… now I’m alone and happy, not looking for friends but if I find some that’ll be great.

It takes two to tango, sums up my life in the passed 2 years!

1 Like
5

You needn’t apologize for that. I’m sorry the relationships with your loved ones are strained. I agree, it can’t be totally one sided without at least some understanding. And I’m sure you’re not being an imposition. I’ve struggled in maintaining friendships because I feel the same way-like I’m bugging them to death and I just genuinely want to connect. But I’ve found a few trusted friends and have a few family members that stay in contact mutually and it’s much more peaceful not worrying if I’m accepted or not. I hope things can work out how you wish. Maybe don’t give up on them entirely if it’s not putting you through too much hardship.

1 Like